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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Blogging About Our Small Towns

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My life has been spent in several towns all over the United States. The only way I can share those experiences with you right now is through pictures and memories. I could do a much better job if I had taken the time to write down impressions that would have matched those faded pictures. Of course, this means I wouldn't have been able to verbally embellished those memories that are even more faded.

With that in mind, I signed up with an Internet project that is focused on blogging about small towns across the United States. I'm rather excited about using www.LocalTownBlogs.com to write about my experiences of living in Spring Lake, North Carolina. I've been here over 20 years and have seen a tremendous amount of change. And I can tell you that there are a lot more to come. Once my blog at http://localtownblogs.com/blog/NorthCarolina/SpringLake is approved, I will look forward to your visits, comments, and suggestions.

Celebrity Fun Fact Time

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All righty then! What does Oprah Winfrey and Bette Midler have in common? No, I'm not focusing on the fact that they are largely women. Well, I mean that they are women, not large women. Alright, let me throw in Elizabeth Taylor and George Forman. Throw? I'm not that strong. I better just point. Anyway, does that help you identify what they all have in common? If you're not up on your celebrity trivia then I'll tell you. They have all been reported to have used Hoodia in their body weight management. As for myself, I would have blamed the personal trainers and the personal chefs for the weight loss. But then trainers and chefs aren't known for paying celebrities for endorsements.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Island of Pens

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At one time, in the midst of the warm waters of the South Pacific, there was a piece of ground known as the Island of Pens. Superb writing instruments known around the world for their even flow of ink and their stylish logos on the pens. You might have heard about them today if it hadn't been Mother Nature.

The island was first discovered by American missionaries. When these missionaries discovered the extraordinary talents of the natives in making incredible pens, these messengers of God knew they had a money making opportunity on their hands. And so they claimed the island in the name of America and their church. With some forethought, it was decreed that the island name would be in order of the European tradition, "Island of Pens." In fact, it was expressly forbidden to use the American style of "Pen" first, followed by "Island". But sadly there were those savages who had been cursed with a sense of humor. To toy with the extremely fragile sensibilities of their masters, these rogue island dwellers decided to use the American-style and then moved the space from between 'N' and 'I' to between 'S' and 'L'. I can't begin to tell you the image they put on their logo pens. But it matched their intentional misspelling of "Pens" and "Island".

Surprisingly, this clergy class of the Denizens were not amused. Not only that but they were extremely jealous of the size of the logo. Just as they were about to serve justice and burn the island down, the natives were able to warn everybody of an approaching tsunami and hurricane. The only reason they knew of the approaching storms was from journals that had been penned by their forefathers. Unfortunately, these storms erased the island from the face of the earth. We have been pensively deprived of logo pens from the Island of Pens ever since. Fortunately, these is another company with great pens and none of those mischievous savages to worry about:

Monday, March 26, 2007

Ghosts Interfering With My TV

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With spring comes the warmer temperatures which are soon followed by the interference patterns on my TV. You wouldn't think that there is a direct link between these two phenomenon but sadly there is. Around my area, we have a wide variation between freezing and hot weather. All of this plays with the plastic sheathing that is inside the coax cable that runs from my antenna to my television. Eventually, the RFI Shielding is exposed and begins to start gently tapping on the copper signal wire inside the cable. It is an easy repair to the offending end by the antenna. But I thought that I would pass this along to you. If you've started noticing sporadic lines or ghost images on your television, take a look at your cable connection, especially the ones outside your house. Let me know if this helps you.

Virgin Island Fever

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Imagine being on this beckoning beach in Virgin Island. Better yet, imagine strolling on these warm, sandy shores at midnight; the moon and stars dancing on the shimmering waves; a playful ocean gently crashing on the sands as it teasingly laps warmly at your feet. A fragrant spring-like breeze plays with your flowing hair as it wraps itself around you in a moist embrace. The only way this could be more magically is by sharing this moment with someone special.

This has been on my mind a lot - an overpowering need to visit a tranquil place where I can relax far away from mind-numbing demands of my daily toils. To spend my time relaxing on Virgin Island yacht charters during sunny days; to share heavenly midnight walks on the beach with my special someone. Could life get any better than that? I submit that it could not.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Worse Than Sleeper Cells

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It's bad enough in these days of terror alerts that you have to worry about seemingly innocent people and things about you. I've recently learned that we not only have to worry about sleeper cells, we now have to be concerned with cells of sleeper sofas. What better way to take over a country than to make its citizens feel comfortable and cozy and sleepy? So while you may be a couch potato, be on your guard! Help us make sure that the terror alert never reaches code .... ZZZZZ.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Rumor Is True

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Now I don't want any one to get excited and to read too much into my actions. Perhaps you might have heard a rumor that I have been visiting the reeds jewelers site. Well, it is true. But only because I was looking at shiny pieces of rock as a present for my gem of a girlfriend. Honest! I can't help it if a friend happened to mention that a wedding ring should cost between 2 and 3 times one's monthly salary. There are no ones in my salary and very few zeros. How many carats can you get for slightly above minimum wage? Never mind that! Why did he even bring that up?!

Honest, Dear, I was just looking! Put those shoes down and step away from the wedding dress... please?

Monday, March 19, 2007

Who Killed The ... Appetite?

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Who killed that gluttonous man known only as ... The Appetite? Who would dare take out a man who had a spicy taste for life, who relished taking on weightier matters, who had no trouble saying "fork you!" to others twice his size?

Crime experts from around the world have been called in, including the renown British inspector, Sir Loin. We understand that he plans to grill several suspects. At the top of his list are exercise fanatic, Richard Simmers and dietary author, Glen Dular. There is also a rumor that Thy Royd will supplement the investigation.

No doubt that this will become the Diet Trial of the century. So if you are a glutton for punishment, stay tuned and stay hungry!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Addictions

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There are a lot of deadly addictions that seem to strive for our very souls. Everything from food and drink to sex and money. Some even end up fighting a prescription drug addiction. The other day, somebody mentioned how they were addicted to blogging. How do you even know if you have that kind of addiction? Do you break out in a cold sweat when you see an unoccupied keyboard? If you read a newspaper, do you find yourself looking for a 'comment' icon to click on? Do you have so many blogs that you find yourself writing more words than there are in "War and Peace" on a daily basis? When someone mentions feeds, do you immediately think of RSS instead of food? When you take a number at the bakery, do you feel like Alexia and Technorati are somehow involved? If you do go for medical help, do they refrained from telling you to write down your problems? Does your doctor put you in a 12 keystroke program?

Thank goodness I don't have a blogging problem. I just like sharing lots of ideas with the Internet community every day. When my house lost power, perspiration broke out on on my forehead. But that was from air conditioning being off and not from intense feelings of dread that came over me because my cable modem was out. Yes, I know it was winter but that's beside the point. Like I said, that goodness I don't have a blogging problem.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

"Second Hand Table" Quality of Life

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I think that I'm a simple man - not a simpleton, just someone who doesn't get excited about having to be a part of the latest fashion trend. By the same token, I might be at the other extreme by not caring enough. For several years now, I've practiced making do without and with what I have. Practiced? I think I've got it perfected! Take my furnishing for example. For a computer desk, I have the wooden cabinet shell of 60's era floor model TV. It's sturdy. Roomy enough that nothing falls off. I'm happy.

While my girlfriend appreciates my Thoreau-like existence, she has taste and class (yet she still loves me. Go figure). She would prefer that I upgrade my lifestyle from wooden stumps and card tables to better arrangements, something stylish like Powell furniture. I don't know. With her help, maybe I can cultivate a more prosperous mentality. I thought I was rich already by having her in my life.

Savings Accounts with High Interest Rates

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In the investment portfolio of my 401(k), I have it set up in the lowest risk category possible. That's right, my money goes into the savings account fun which returns less than 2% a year on the money. Surprisingly, over the years I've made more money than several of my friends who put their money in a more riskier funds. Still I need to get a better return on a savings account than I am getting now.

Today, in my financial search I came across a surprising find called savings account.com. This company doesn't have a slogan but if it did, it would be "Compare online banking, find a savings account or checking account and earn more interest today with SavingsAccounts.com." "Earn more interest" is right! They had several banks that listed 5 and 6% interest rate. I love sites like this that collect information and give you the chance to compare along with supporting links to get more information. The site is in the top of my financial bookmarks.

This post is sponsored in part by savingsaccount.com

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Financial Reporting

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Sometimes I think we make things more complicated for ourselves than necessary. And then there are those influences outside ourselves that just add to the chaos. Our CFO was going on about all the latest financial rules and regulations imposed by the state and federal bureaucrats. After listening to a brief dissertation from him, my head hurt. I can't imagine trying to run a company without the aid of some good financial reporting software.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Body Piercings Can Be Useful

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Some people complain about the youth ruining their bodies. I think we should give youth much more credit for this insightful planning for their future. I say this because I was looking at all the interesting body jewelry at freshtrends.com. The only piercing that I have is my gaze - sometimes. Ok, even that is questionable. But I do have friends and family who are into body piercings. So what happens when they become much older? Actually, I don't think that there is anything to worry about. Their piercings can remain stylish while becoming a very useful part of their lives as well.

For example, as gravity makes its presence known on my females friends, they can overcome the effects of sag by connecting a very fashionable chain from their ear rings to their nipple rings. They could even heighten the effect by running that same chain through their ear rings, then through a nose ring (their own of course) and finally attaching it to the barbell in their tongue. That way when they speak, they can add a little jiggle to the conversation without having to move. Truly an engineering marvel in its own right!

For the guys sporting a prince albert, the weight of that metal could be a problem, especially if they happen to age into erectile dysfunction. But no problem! A couple of navel rings for weight distribution, a connecting chain to the ol' prince and the phrase "can't get it up" will be a fallacy (or a phallic-see, your choice).

Years from now, my friends who have an array of eye brow rings can easily install a mini-shower curtain. That way, they can close the curtains and gum their food or pick their nose in complete privacy ... assuming they're smart enough not to buy one of those clear plastic shower curtains.

Yes, I must admit that installing body jewelry in your early days is devilishly clever. And it's never too late to get started. Perhaps in our seventies, we can install some fashionable chain maille to help hold the wrinkles and overlapping skin folds in place. Just a thought. So what are yours? Thoughts? Piercings?

Sunday, March 11, 2007

daylight energy savings

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Were you a good citizen and put your clocks forward last night? Are you ready for the energy savings that this will bring to you??????

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Levitra, a stimulating topic?

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Are there any topics that I won't blog about? At this point, everything is a challenge -- to make it interesting, to make it engaging and funny, to make it worthwhile reading. Not that I succeed very often. And some topics are more difficult than others.

Take the name of the drug that doctors prescribe for male sexual dysfunction: Levitra. How did they come up with that nomenclature? The name certainly brings about images of levitation, of raising things. Perhaps raising things from the dead? Nah, dead things are supposed to be stiff already. Yes, I realize that the medical condition is no laughing matter. Yet, imagine what the discussion must have been like around the marketing table and the names that didn't quite make it.

I have to say that this post was a hard one to write. So I don't know how excited you may have gotten from reading this. If this entry erects images that stay up in your thoughts for longer than four hours, consult your physician. He may prescribe some bad music to help ease this mental stimulation.

Difference between wholesale and retail

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A few weeks ago, my neighbor bought a Doberman pinscher puppy from the local pet store along with enough dog supplies to start a store of their own. Unfortunately, it looks like the store had cut the puppy's tail too close to his body since the dog seems to be in constant pain. After a few weeks of listening to the dog yelp, my neighbor is going to take him back to the store tomorrow. He's hoping that the store will buy the dog back wholesale because they can't *RETAIL* him.

Just kidding! Gotcha!

Spring time in the Home Theatre

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Spring time plays a lot of funny tricks with your mind. From the depths of despair brought on by winter, I find myself teased with hopes of things that might be and of those that could be. On this bright sunny day, I found myself in my living room day-dreaming of how to make it into my own home theater. There's only one wall big enough for 60 inch high definition TV. This means seating will have to be 12 feet away on the opposite wall - very handy for my nearsighted friends. I wonder if they make sectional sofas that seat ten and let everyone recline? I could put this up on a pedestal to give a sort of IMAX viewing effect. Throw in some speakers, a fridge stocked with drinks, and easily accessible munchies and I think I'll have a spot of heaven here in my living room. All I need now is some money, a little spare time, a few friends, movies... Curse you, Spring time, and your beckoning flights of fantasy!

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Memory Upgrades

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My friends have me help them with their systems from time to time. One of the biggest improvements that they make is to upgrade their system's memory. With such a variety of computers, I often use memorystore.com to research their computer memory upgrade. If nothing else, the site has a very easy-to-use database that helps me pinpoint the exact module required by their system. Bookmark that site and let me know how it helps you.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Ellijay

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This past weekend, I spent time with my children who live in Georgia. Almost ten years ago, their mother moved there with my children so she could be close to her family, which is understandable. So I spent my weekends traveling between Georgia and North Carolina so I could care for my family. The one area I really liked was around Ellijay - very mountainous, very scenic, very quiet. The Ellijay real estate market looked promising with great houses at livable prices. Unfortunately, this was during 98-01 as companies were downsizing. I had a very difficult time trying to find work to replace my job in North Carolina. Eventually, this, coupled with other actions on her part, made me realize that there was a fine line between being a gentleman and being a doormat. A divorce ensued. Fortunately, my children were in their late teens. Now, they are much more flexible in their options and the job market has vastly improved. Perhaps we can still move to Ellijay - without the wicked witch of the west as my children refer to my former spouse.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Pen Name or Name of My Pen?

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Lately, my friends have been telling me that I should be thinking about pen names. At first I thought they wanted me to name my pens. I can't help it if these slender dispensers of ink kept wandering off of my desk. Then it was pointed out that, if I ever begin serious writing, I will need a pseudonym - a pen name. Ok, then. Even if you look at the pretty picture of the author on the book, knowing his name doesn't make him (or her) less anonymous, does it? So I'll use that then for my pen name: Anon A. Mus. Catchy, eh?

Thursday, March 01, 2007

My Friend's First Aid Dieting Kit

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A week ago a friend of mine decided he was going to go on a diet. While he started with good intentions, I don't believe he's going to make it. On his first day, he did very well eating only salads, fruits, and a small portion of chicken. He did great for six days. Today was the seventh day - the seventh day itch. He came to work proudly carrying one of those First Aid Kits. But this was no ordinary first aid kit. He specially constructed this one to have three half pound double cheeseburgers with chili and onions, a half pound of greasy french fries, a band-aid in case he got a paper cut from the hamburger wrappings,and one of those portable defibrillators. At lunch time, it took everything we had to talk him out of using it -- all of it! I'm not looking forward to tomorrow now. Not only will he have a first aid kit, I'm afraid he's going to bring in a second aid kit as well.