Monday, July 27, 2009

To The Moon

I keep hearing discouraging stories about our lack of presence on the moon. Some blame the shortage of money and desire to mount expensive science expeditions. Others fault the extremely high start-up costs that prevent otherwise profitable mining operations on our shiny, celestial neighbor.

I think we could have quick and populated presence on the moon. It takes a simple realization of our heavenly orb for what it is: the best weight loss supplement known to man ... and woman. Just think, with a couple of day's journey, you could go from weighing 300 pounds to 50! All motion suddenly becomes effortless. No more shortness of breath and knee joint aches! An earthly fat farm could easily become an popular weight-loss lunar colony. And would you want leave your new found "slimness"? I don't think so, thus our permanent presence on the moon.

Of course, there would be restrictions. Some people would not be allowed, like supermodels who would suddenly becomes lighter than a newborn baby. All we need is for one of them to develop hiccups. Soon they would be bouncing off into space, crashing into arriving rockets. It might be fine as a pay-for-view event but we're trying to be serious here.

Oh sure, by now, a few of you are thinking, "With all those people, the gravitational attraction between the Earth and Moon will increase! Won't the Moon eventually crash into the Earth?" To you naysayers, let me say this, "How do you think we plan to move Mars closer to the Sun?" After all, the Moon is just a stepping buffet to the stars.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Maybe The Future is OK

My girlfriend's daughter is a talented young woman. She handles Color Guard performances with the grace of a ballerina. Her officiating duties as an officer in the Future Farmers of Amercia would rival the skills of diplomats in the United Nations. Recently, she didn't even let her lack of piano lessons dissuade her from buying a book of sheet music from the movie "Twilight" and begin practicing the songs on her cousin's borrowed electronic piano.

If she is a representative of our youth -- those quietly conquering their fears, the ones who don't have the need to be in everyone's face, the ones who have decided to take responsibility for their actions instead of blaming everyone else -- then perhaps our future is going to be a good one.

all that glitters

At one time, I thought that going through divorce is like having an amputation -- you survive but there is less of you. And then, I seemed have found someone who makes up for that 'less of me'. For the better part of this decade (and she has definitely been the better part), I've been dating the most wonderful, caring, loving woman imaginable. Sure, she would love it if I showered her in certified diamonds and the uncertified ones. But, she is interested in how we complete each other more than raw, expensive minerals. I would even give her the pricey plutonium if that would make her happy but I much prefer the natural glow that she has whenever I'm around her. My life may have suffered an amputation but I seemed to have grow into something much, much better!

Fixing Firefox 3.5

Have you recently be excited about the new and shiny Firefox 3.5 and found yourself unable to resist the chance to upgrade? Me too! Now do you find yourself plagued by "Server Not Found" messages when you go to your favorite sites? Me too. So after after a couple days of frustrating searches which included constant "server not found" results, I've found a link which may help us:
Cannot connect after upgrading Firefox

Let me know if it works for you.....

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Exercising ... sort of

At one time, I was doing everything I could to stay in shape. But then that half century mark hit me and I thought "Should I keep exercising? After all, no pain, no pain." So I compromised and kept up my sit ups by placing the remote control between my feet. All was well until my monthly "Men's Health" magazine had an excellent, guilt-ladened article on being extremely fit by using Kettlebells --- you know, using a heavy object with handle to bend and lift and twist your muscles into positions that you gave up in your 30s --- the female equivalent of a purse. I think the article was sponsored by Bengay cream and Aleve pain killers and the story did a great job making me consider some drastic changes in my life. First, I devised my own kettlebells by freezing mugs of beer. If you don't think you'll contort to save that melting drop of heavenly nectar, then you're just not thirsty enough for your health. Secondly, I canceled my "Men's Health" subscription. I feel much better now!