Saturday, May 28, 2011

how you doin'?

I think it's important to get little feedback from your customers – be it your boss or people who pay you for doing odd jobs. This important quality-control check of your services ensures that you are doing what you need to, to remain profitable.

Last month, I made an inquiry to the company that gives me writing assignments. I asked about their perception of the quality of my work for them. Usually when I e-mailed questions to them, I'll get an answer within a few days, maybe a week at the most. Yet, here we are, a few weeks after the fact.

Is this a case of "no news is good news"? Or, is this the other side of the quality coin and the powers-that-be just don't want to hurt my feelings?

I've worked at companies that had marginally competent employees. They kept their jobs only because they were cheap enough and did just enough to be profitable to the business. Of course, whenever the economy tanked, these "cheap enough" workers were the first that companies kicked into the ranks of the unemployed.

For now then, I'll continue to write in this vacuum, hoping that I'm perceived as more than just good and cheap enough for assignments.

Looking For Easy Funding

I'm not going to link you to the site. You probably already know about twisted, macabre videos of "Salad Finger". What you might not know is that the creator, David Firth, has come out of hiding after about three years and released yet another rather disturbing episode.

While I'm not surprised that David has a large receptive audience for his works, I was very surprised to learn how he actually made money by creating just a few short animations. Here we have yet another example of making money through niche marketing.

Maybe there is hope for me. Maybe I can find enough people to pay me for coming up with such antics as "do you think hard rocking stoners need calcium supplements or do they take it for granite?" All I really need is one eccentric billionaire with an absurd fondness for my sub-sub-sub-niche posts. Nothing twisted about that!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Biggest Loser with a capital L

Some people fret over the silliest events in their life. You would think they would be concerned about their health, or their limited finances, or possible loss of their job. But not my friend. She was almost in a major state of emotional collapse concerning what to watch tonight.

There's the biggest loser show. This is where people call in to vote for their favorite dancing duo. There is the other biggest loser where other people (who aren't watching the first show) call in to vote for their favorite singer. And then there is the 3rd biggest loser drama where everyone else watches to see who shed the most tonnage from their body.

Who's going to win the biggest loser? I'm willing to bet it's the people watching these mind-wasting shows. You can't be a bigger loser than that. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to dance my joy while singing about my love for this gallon of orange cream ice cream that I'm heartily eating. Gotta burn those calories some how.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Glass Door

Share is a great site if you want to tell the world about the company you work for. Good or bad. But it is a GLASS DOOR. What happens when you work for a small company where you are one of two employees? Write an honest, but unflattering summary of your business and that well-deserved promotion may not be in the cards for you.

I just wrote such as update on my company and posted it on Glassdoor. While we have 80 employees, I think I could easily be identified as the one posting publicly what everyone has been saying privately at work.

Yet, what are the chances that the investment company or the powers-that-be or our intrepid HR person are reading reviews of their business? Given the way the place is run, I could refer to specific people in the holding company as "complete morons" and get away with it. But we will see.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

clean up detail

I'm not the worst housekeeper in the world. If you knew my former spouse, you would readily agree with this humble observation.

It's not that she would avoid her chores. Every once in while, she would sweep the room with her glance while sitting on her comfortable vantage point of the couch.

Sometimes, when I would come home from a long day at work, the children and I would put on Backpacking Boots and pretend that the petrified dirt had become rocky trails along the Himalayas mountains. Or we would dig out the kitchen floor and play "guess this food" in an entertaining attempt to clean up.

Those days are gone now. My children and I live in much cleaner and healthier homes. I don't know what happened to my ex. There have been rumors that she was buried in an avalanche of dust. We may never know. We've all been afraid that, if we visit, we'll need mountain climbing equipment.

I'm a thinkin' genius

The floors need vacuuming. The dishes need washing. For the hundredth time today, I thought about taking care of them. If it’s the thought that counts, then I’m a clean freak! I'm beginning to think that procrastination work better if you're immortal.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Back in the day..

When my mom hit that wonderful age of menopause, it was gently referred to as "the change of life." Of course, most of the time, this unavoidable change had gentleness of an magnitude 9 earthquake.

Still, there were quiet moments when we would able tease my mom and live to tell about it. We would kid her about her hot flashes being the work of an inner child playing with matches. Or, due to her intense flashes, that she had been banned from entering the local ice cream shops -- which was a shame since the best progesterone cream at that time was a barrel full of ice cream, any flavor.

My four sisters have now reached that wonderful change of life. But, with all the latest medicines and herbs available, they not too concerned about it. I'm not worried either. In fact, my stock in Baskin Robbins just doubled.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

for the want of an exacting sentence

A few days ago, my son quoted my former spouse as saying, "I'm out for blood!" This surprised me because I assumed she would be out for what little money I have left. Then I realized parasites aren't interested in pieces of paper.

Yesterday, we met up in divorce court. In the end, she won by way of my end -- raw and painful. Even though I paid above and beyond the amount of child support that I needed to, even though my son saw little of this money, the battle came down to one ambiguous statement. It was enough that the judge had to rule in her favor by default. In other words, I get to endure 15 more months of her extortion because I missed one vague sentence.

Tweet, Tweet, says my Baby

The trend in caring for your children seems to be towards the convenience of its parents. Consider that just a few years ago, a wireless baby monitor meant that you stayed in the same room as your sleeping child and kept a watchful vigilance. This method became a high-tech, wired baby monitor when you tied a piece of string to the crib and repeatedly pulled on it to induce a rocking motion.

Things are more convenient these days. Baby monitoring now involves audio and video links to our children's sleeping quarters, accessible from a website that parents log into from the next room.

It's only a matter of time before somebody adds a one-click option to upload instantly pictures and video of their darling angels to Facebook. Babies will soon be able to tweet their hunger pangs or status of their diapers capacity to their parents’ cell phones. Shortly after that, infants will think they have two sets of parents -- a high definition, flat screen caregiver and the extra high definition, realistic, actual-presence version. I can’t wait.

Live Journal's loss is YOUR GAIN!

A few weeks, hackers trashed Live Journal's blog site. Bloggers (including the president of Russia) found that they couldn't post. Visits found themselves blocked from reading the latest whatevers. Finally, the operators of Live Journal saved the day with procedures that made their popular blogging site secure.

Unfortunately, secure meant that LJ automatically added "no follow" tags to every link that you posted in your blog. Not a happy situation if you have a business writing. Thanks, hackers!

So, my writing assignments will focus me on this blog. This means more postings and, hopefully, good ones.

I have another blog that I maintain myself. But do I wanted to whore it out? We'll see what my finances dictate.

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Hide-And-Seek ending

And there you are, nestled deep inside your fortified home, surrounded by high walls and an armed security detail. As far as you know, no one knows that you're there. In fact, since your disappearance in 2001, you are the reigning “hide and seek” champion of the world. Or so you think…

In a life-changing moment, the sound of gunfire invades your smug, serene thoughts. Inwardly, you groan as you watch your bodyguards react in a way that would make several colon cleanse reviews proud. In less than an hour, a lifetime of choices catches up with you.

Surprisingly, there are people who say Osama is still alive and well. However, Elvis personally told me that Osama is no more. He is now a has bin, laden to rest. We win!