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Monday, March 12, 2007

Body Piercings Can Be Useful

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Some people complain about the youth ruining their bodies. I think we should give youth much more credit for this insightful planning for their future. I say this because I was looking at all the interesting body jewelry at freshtrends.com. The only piercing that I have is my gaze - sometimes. Ok, even that is questionable. But I do have friends and family who are into body piercings. So what happens when they become much older? Actually, I don't think that there is anything to worry about. Their piercings can remain stylish while becoming a very useful part of their lives as well.

For example, as gravity makes its presence known on my females friends, they can overcome the effects of sag by connecting a very fashionable chain from their ear rings to their nipple rings. They could even heighten the effect by running that same chain through their ear rings, then through a nose ring (their own of course) and finally attaching it to the barbell in their tongue. That way when they speak, they can add a little jiggle to the conversation without having to move. Truly an engineering marvel in its own right!

For the guys sporting a prince albert, the weight of that metal could be a problem, especially if they happen to age into erectile dysfunction. But no problem! A couple of navel rings for weight distribution, a connecting chain to the ol' prince and the phrase "can't get it up" will be a fallacy (or a phallic-see, your choice).

Years from now, my friends who have an array of eye brow rings can easily install a mini-shower curtain. That way, they can close the curtains and gum their food or pick their nose in complete privacy ... assuming they're smart enough not to buy one of those clear plastic shower curtains.

Yes, I must admit that installing body jewelry in your early days is devilishly clever. And it's never too late to get started. Perhaps in our seventies, we can install some fashionable chain maille to help hold the wrinkles and overlapping skin folds in place. Just a thought. So what are yours? Thoughts? Piercings?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh my, what a visual in writing that was! What a truly unique pierce ... I mean piece :) I'll have to check out the goodies for piercings over at FreshTrends.com for Lisa and Steve. She might like a new belly button ring, post or whatever you call that thing. You are priceless! Thanks for the insightful look at piercings at seventy ... LOL!