Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Hunting Blinds

Duck hunters use duck blinds to sneak up on their unsuspecting prey. (Although I find it much easier to go down to the duck pond with a loaf of bread and a hammer. Not only is it cheaper, but the ducks walk right up to me.) Dear hunters also use camouflage blinds during their season. (My hunting friends say that it makes it almost impossible for their wives to find them, especially if they set it up in the living room during football season.) But I was a little confused to learn that, not only do people hunt *IN* the woods, some even hunt *the woods* themselves. I learned this when I saw a recent sale on wood blinds. As fast as a tree moves, I didn't think that you had to sneak up on one to begin with! And what do you do when you catch one? How many people do you know that serve up a juicy cut of truck? How many proudly display a rack of branches over their mantel? Unless ... ah, that's right! There is a season for hunting trees - pine trees - and that happens right before Christmas. Ok, then. Mystery solved.

Monday, September 24, 2007

How To Run Your Business Into The Ground

This company's pool of talented people is rapidly shrinking. The only thing dropped faster is the moral of employees. Today I learned that yet another fellow employee has had enough of the 'fun and games' around here and turned in her notice. The powers-that-be don't believe in succession planning. So naturally, they have no replacements for their dwindling human resources. The work is simply moved onto one or more already overburdened workers. My departing day is coming soon. For now, staying here is like watching a slow-motion train wreck from the inside car...

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Does the World Really Need More Copies of Me?

My girlfriend lives three hours to my east. My children live five hours to my west. I wish that there were a couple of copies of me to dispatch to everyone I love. Right now, one of me would be helping my children get into a better house. My other version would be investigating Wilmington NC real estate for a love nest on the coast. But it's probably for the best that there is only one of me. The last thing the world needs right now is mo'Rons running around...

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Drinking To Your Health

Some people go to bars and nurse their beers. You can't miss them. They're the ones with soggy nipples. If you think this is unusual behavior, what about the new medical diagnostic procedure that a few doctors are starting to use? Let's see, how can I put this delicately? Just as a mechanic examines the exhaust emissions to troubleshoot your car problems, a few doctors want the "emissions" that their patients create in the restrooms of their local drinking establishments. These bar stools are said to reveal much more about the patient's health than samples from their home environment. Personally, I think these doctors are just looking for an excuse to make a house call at a place where they know they can get a drink and charge someone in the process.

ARRR, What Be Ye Party Theme?

For the past four years, a good friend of mine has had me conspire with her to create some very interesting murder mystery parties -- the type where everyone dresses in a costume and one of the guests plays a murder victim while everyone else has to figure out who did it and why. This year, we thought we would try something a little different. At first we considered a gay 90s type theme. But we couldn't be sure our guests would show up dressed in 1890s garb. Considering the crew of hilarious nuts that we hang around with, some might think 1990's and show up as flamboyantly gay or as someone in the 90s or as both.

We finally decided to do a pirate theme and base it on the clues game. There will be two teams of pirates competing to find clues of who did what to whom using which implement of destruction. Yesterday, my friend handed out her very innovative style of party invitations -- small plastic bottles that contained coins and an invitation written on an aged scroll. With less than a week away from the day of the party, I now need to do my part to help her come up with the clues. If all goes well, perhaps I'll post a few pictures ... assuming that I am not made to walk the plank because of what I did.

Thank You, Robyn

Up until a few months ago, I was part of a group of bloggers who were making a concerted effort to visit each other's site on an almost daily basis. While it was great to read each other's latest posts, the main objective was to help our Alexia score. The motivation behind that lie in our financial dealings with PayPerPost.

Then, with PPP latest changes, there was a fear that our efforts would be meet with a fate worse than death -- expulsion from the PayPerPost system. Fortunately, PayPerPost has finally clarified their position and our Alexia group is back in operation. This group is only possible through the generosity of a fellow blogger, Robyn. Thank you, Robyn, for the recently posted blog roll.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

How to get the edge over your classmates and fellow workers

I enjoy trying to analyzing data and come up with trends and predictable forecasts.
Today, I found a site called Swivel that allows you to collect data and graph it for everyone to see and comment. The site is keyed into several data sources such as the various government data banks and financial centers. Here's a graph on "Number of Senators missing a vote, by date." Glad to see our tax dollars hard at work.
Number of Senators missing a vote, by date

Swivel's mission is this:
... to make data useful so people share insights, make great decisions and improve lives. We believe data is most valuable when it's out in the open where everyone can see it, debate it, have fun, and share new insights. Swivel makes it easy to accomplish all this with our simple-to-use blogging tools.

You don't have to be a numbers geek like me to find all sorts of interesting information. If you've got a report and you need some hard data to back your position, Swivel would be the place to start to give you that edge over everyone else. Let me know your thoughts as you try this site out.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Only 106 Shopping Days ...

Walking through Wal-Mart has a way of making you think about money (or the lack thereof). Nothing says "Happy Holidays" better than seeing Christmas decorations up on display four months ahead of that fateful day. Yes, I realize that they are just trying to compete with the snootier stores who put up their decorations right after the Fourth of July. This is referred to as "elegant foresight". Yet, if I leave my Christmas decorations up until after May, I'm referred to as "lazy". Anyway...

Wal-mart's elegant foresight has remind me of what I've got to do -- earn more money while trying to find some really good deals on presents. Woe be it that I don't do my patriotic duty and deny some American the privilege of standing knee-deep in tinsel and wrapping paper on Christmas Day. Who am I to not give them the opportunity to utter those heartfelt, holiday words, "Is this all I got?"

Sunday, September 09, 2007

New York Lawyers

If going to law school is so difficult and expensive, why are there so many lawyers? I've heard that there are more New York personal injury lawyers per person than there are rats per person in New York. Not that I'm trying to give rats a bad name. After all, I know that rats aren't the reason that the wheels of justice turn slow.

Still, there are reports that an incompetent lawyer can delay a trial for months. Whereas a competent lawyer can delay a trial for even longer.

Too bad they couldn't delay their bills as easily.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Skin Care or Skin That Cares

If you take real good care of your body, how does your skin show its appreciation? Does it care enough to get you a thank you card? Would such a card or present be considered a "skin care" product?

Seriously, it is important to take good care of yourself, especially as you get older. Go ahead and spend a little money on some skin care products. Make sure you wash and scrub your body thoroughly. And, if you're wrinkly enough, a good ironing never hurts now and then as well.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Antique ... Lovers?

Sometimes I think I must be mentally warped. Yesterday I walked into the middle of a conversation as someone mentioned "antique lovers." Two thoughts immediately came into my mind. One was an image of very aged, Century furniture, weathered and well seasoned from use and time. The other thought was, "What a great title for a porn flick about elder people!" Naturally, the movie would be a very slow moving work. Hmmm, if we throw in some old, creaky furniture and we might have something .... maybe more horror than erotic...

Monday, September 03, 2007

430 days later...


430 days ago, I hooked my blogs up with PayPerPost. Today I made it in their postie lottery known as "blog of the day." Amazing! This is a shock since usually the "blog of the day" is someone who just signed up within the last few milliseconds. But not today! Woo-Hoo!

My thanks goes out to a great fellow blogger, CyberCelt, who let me know about this honor! Yes, I probably don't deserve such an award. But I have bad eyesight and I don't deserve that either. So there you have it. If you're a first time visitor, I welcome you to my blog of sometimes outlandish thoughts. Look around, kick the tires, leave a comment or two so we can find out about your blog and maybe share this love.

I want to thank Bill Gates and the Department of Defense for this making this all possible. To Al Gore, thanks for nothing. Much thanks to the all people of PayPerPost for starting this daily event and to their programmers for the randomness algorithm. Much thanks to their parents for having them. Of course, thanks to my parents! After all, where would I be without their union? Certainly not blogging here. And to my teacher who said that computers were a fad, who's blog-of-the-day now, fat boy?! And I should thank the my ex and the thieves at the irs for providing the financial strain necessary to join PPP....