On my top 10 list of this year's "have to be done or die trying" is the writing of my will (and hopefully done before the "die trying" part kicks in). So I've researching what I can and cannot do as my final hurrah. Good grief but the law is so picky!
Apparently, you can't just tattoo a note on your chest requesting that they toss your body in with the rest of the weekly garbage pickup. I also learned that several environmental laws and town decrees ban any type of Viking burial – including flaming arrows and a burning boat – in your backyard swimming pool. It saddens me to think we live in a time so controlled by anti-fun people: rule-makers who don't want you to celebrate the end of your life with a bang (at least, according to the anti-cannon ordinances).
As you can imagine, my research had me a little miffed, not only at the over-reaching laws, but at that class of people who craft our many maniacal mandates - lawyers. Well, I was miffed until my research turned up a website for raleigh nc lawyers.
As I read their noble, humanity-saving mission statements and bios, I got to thinking that perhaps I was a bit harsh on this most ancient of professions. It's not as though everyday justice is a simple clear-cut matter. You almost have to have a little sympathy for a group that has to use three words when one would suffice: "null AND void" instead of invalid, "cease AND desist" instead of stop, "have AND hold" instead of routine.
But then again, why would any group keep alive a thousand-year old habit, a tradition started by those wacky English and French as they worked on "breaking and entering" into each others' country? I know why. Billing at higher fees becomes "cut and dry" when you make your work "fit and proper" by sounding three times as difficult.
OK. Now I'm miffed again.
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