who wants their end heated?

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Near the end of October of last year, our sales team, always eager to pounce on a potential marketing opportunity, called an emergency meeting. Our VP of sales asked me if I could develop a miniature control switch that would operate heating elements inside of car seats. "No problem," I said. He said, "Great! We needed a working demo in time for an auto show next week so that we can start taking orders next month in time for winter sales."

By now, our VP should know that it takes a minimum of four months for the simplest of projects to make it through the gauntlet of design, validation, purchasing requirements, ISO-9000 certification demands, and into the first day of error-free production. Of course, if our sales team admitted to this knowledge, they couldn't blame all of us for their continually missed "zillions of dollars" of sales to upper management.

What is more amazing is that all of our sales employees are college graduates. Yet, with another occurrence of a seat heater sales opportunity, the knowledge has again eluded them that winter occurs twice a year on our planet of potential customers. If we don't make the December's deadline for people in the northern hemisphere, there are people in the southern hemisphere who will have cars and cold derrières in June.

I wonder if other cold-season businesses have this same issue with their sales team. Take for example, "CozyWinters.com electric blankets". Who doesn't need the warmth of heated bedding during the bone-chilling nights of winter.

Of course, that is an unfair example to compare with my company. Drivers may need a toasty tush in the midst of a freezing winter. However, if you are or have been married, you know that, even during the worst scorching nights of summer, an electric blanket is extremely vital to your woman's seemingly frostbitten extremities. Without such a heated covering, many a man has been suddenly wakened in frozen anguish to wonder how well a blow torch would operate under the covers of their marital bed.

In any case, as of last week, we finally presented a finished, extremely competitive product to our sales group. During our pre-production meeting, our VP of sales talked about how he greatly appreciated our long hours and sleepless night to rush this project towards production. Then he quietly mentioned that the sales requirements had changed. Could we scrap what we have done and have a new version ready to sell by next week?

The ensuing discussion would have heated many a rear-end. During the conversations, our VP of sales was often referred to as an especially flaming member of the human anatomy. You know, given the elevated temperatures, the red faces, the heated discussions, perhaps we are selling the wrong product. If we should find a market for people who would sit on a heated VP of sales ...