a good relationship is a miserable one?

Tweet

As guys, we have a very simple relationship standard: if our girlfriend or wife (or "girlfriend and wife" for the more adventurous among us) is happy, then we are happy. To us it's obvious -- if we do everything to please the love of our life and she is happier than the New York Giants winning the Super Bowl, then we're all winners. Toss me a cold beer, boys! Life is good.

However, according to a recent study, women have a far more convoluted standard to judge the success of their relationships. Are you ready for this earth-shattering revelation about mars and venus?

Well, hold on to your asteroid belt because, apparently, the fairer gender of our species is happy only when she believes her male counterpart is miserable. The intricate workings of female logic goes like this: the more miserable her favorite fella is, the more work he must be putting in the relationship. A happy partner is a no-good, lazy partner.

I bring up this little tid-bit because several of my male friends are planning a weekend camping trip while leaving their fair-maidens behind in civilization. The idea is that the time apart will do everyone some good.

I guess my unsuspecting friends haven't read this incredible study of life between the sexes. Otherwise, they would know there is only way their happy women will be in the throes of absolute bliss: the men have to return with horrible stories of their camping experience. My friends will have to regale horrific tales of enduring skunked beer, bad food, freezing snow while a boiling sun baked their skin. Instead of fish-a-plenty biting at their hooks, their wolverine boots will have to be actual live wolverines gnawing on swollen feet of my buddies.

Of course, if one bro needs a break-up plan, he only has to utter those relationship-killing words, "Yeah, I had a great time!" (As long as he doesn't add the phrase, "without you". That would be the kiss of death. His, not the relationship.)

So remember, if a man is happy because his lady is happy, then she must be happy because he is miserable. It's so obvious, I don't know why I didn't think of it.

Yes, I do. I didn't think of it because I'm a guy.

And some people wonder why men die sooner than women.