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Friday, March 30, 2012

Mega-Millions? Not for me.

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I'm not playing the Mega-millions for one simple reason: I'm afraid I will beat the daunting risk of 1 in 175 million and win. This means I will have proved I can beat the odds - any of them.

So, during my resulting vacationing trip to Hawaii, I will get attacked by a shark (odds: 1 in 11.5 million). As the ambulance rushes me to the hospital, we hit a Hawaiian deer (odds: 1 in 6,267). I then deliver conjoined twins (odds: 1 in 200,000), or so the hospital mistakenly charges me for (odds: 1 in 2).

No, I'm staying safe and sound, huddled under my blanket, in my closet, in a iron safe with the door shut. Odds of me getting out ... oh crap, I didn't count on that. Help!

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