Long Live SI's SE

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Every February 14th, I am reminded of a very eventful eighth grade year. Not because of the romance of Valentines. Rather, because it was the year of the Penguin. I had spent my 7th and 8th grade years in Catholic school under ever watchful eyes of Nuns - women who had given up sex and their sense of humor, or at least the ones that I dealt with. When asked what I would give up for Lent, I replied school. The class laughed. I got a wrap on the knuckles and trip to the Mother Superior's Office. When I was in the seventh grade, she was a kind, gentle, somewhat tolerant person. But in my eighth grade, we received a replacement who was anything but kind. Dressed in her black garb and a walk that had a pronounced waddle, she earned the nickname "Penguin". A cruel name, yes, but not as cruel as she was. When she vowed to rid the school of all unholy influences, she immediately canceled the library's subscription to Sports Illustrated. Mind you, as adolescent males, we lived for the Swimsuit edition. We asked to get it back, only to be punished for our sacrilegious request. It was a dark time. But time and technology have more than made up for this youthful tragedy. Now, I can go to the Sport Illustrated web site, view all my favorite models (for artist reasons, of course), download cell phone wallpaper and even ring tones with video clips. These are almost as good as the time I had dinner with Heidi Klum. It was a wonderful affair until my alarm clock woke me for work.