answers to random profile questions

Tweet

As you create your profile in this Google Blog, it has a random question generator under "Extended Info". I guess the idea is make your profile more interesting to your readers. The only problem with it is that you're only allowed to answer one question so how can anyone full identify with you? And there are some great questions just begging for answers! Let me try a few:

Q. Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?
A. Most people already know this to be true, especially good lovers! They're the ones who have learned that when you first spoon your lover, you end up forking.

Q. If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?
A. Miss Manners says that it depends who we're having for dinner.

Q. Why do you think honeydew is the money melon?
A. Have you ever seen her strip?!!

Q. You have to dig a hole to China. Where do you start?
A. It depends where the plates wound up in the landfill.

Q. If mud is dirt plus water, what is clay?
A. one rich dude after winning the american idol show ... the lucky $%#^$#!

Q. What's the best time you've ever had licking stamps?
A. Stamps???? Her name was Stamps???!!!

Q. You get to ride the big roller coaster three times in a row. What will keep your dad from taking a bite out of your candy apple?
A. You would think it would be a loss of his appetite when I vomit it back up .... big chucks or not! What would you expect after three consecutive rides??!

Q. You've successfully slain the dragon! How will you toast your marshmallows?
A. The same as always! With a glass of champagne and a "Here's to the best marshmallows ever!"

Q. If you were a pirate, how would you avoid laughing when saying "poop deck"?
A. By hiring a crew that didn't give a shit .... especially on deck!!

Q. In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming?
A. There's no water in the pool! duhrrrrr!

Q. Which is more important to you and why: flexibility or expandability?
A. Am I eating or having sex?!

Q. Your superpower is that you smell like dandelions whenever someone lies. How will you maintain your secret identity?
A. First of all, by trying not to be such a blooming idiot to begin with! Sheesh! Second of all, I'd avoid all politicians, lawyers and irs agents.

Q. The children are waiting! Please tell them the story about the bald frog with the wig:
A. Not the "bald wig and the frog"? Awww, that was one of my favorites. Oh, alright then. "There once was a bald frog from Nantucket..."

Q. If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move?
A. Cashing that big, fat stinky WWF check... ahhhh, yes, I AM THE GREATEST! BOW BEFORE ME!

Q. You're trapped in a well with a goat and a slinky. Describe how you will escape.
A. Probably by paying off the blackmailer who has those pictures of me, the goat and the slinky.

========================================================
Yet to be answered.....
Q. This is a colon : and this is a semi-colon ; - what's a semi-truck?
Q. You've written a hit musical! How will you avoid having fame go to your head?
Q. Create a tagline for a new line of plastic bedsheets.
Q. Your bow is not broken but you've run out of arrows. How can you fake being a bard?
Q. What was the stage name of your favorite actress before she was born?
Q. The hair from your last haircut ... what would it say about your new style?
Q. You can whistle and steam can whistle, so why do you sing in the shower?
Q. Your hand has been replaced by a rubber stamp. What does it say?
Q. When you've got water stuck in your ear, how do you get it out?
Q. Radio wire is often used to make bird nests. What station do they listen to?
Q. Sponges and tongues are frequently misspelled. Is it because both are thirsty?
Q. Your people want to make a statue in your honor. What will it be made out of and what victory will it commemorate?