Mr. Know-It-All explains the Supreme Court ruling.

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I know some of you are confused about the recent Supreme Court ruling on the health care law. But let's see if Mr. Know-It-All can help. Since he only has few minutes, we could only get brief answers to a few important questions:

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Q: What does individual mandate mean?

A: The Supreme Court has confirmed what we already knew: a single man has the constitutional right to ask any woman on a date. He can ask her on a man date repeatedly, if necessary. The health coverage part comes into play if she slugs him or resorts to mace. Hopefully, he has insurance.

Of course, Mr. Know-It-All is just kidding. This complicated high-court decision is based on the legal definition of the key word, "individual", which is Latin for "what is the loneliest number in whole wide world."

Thus, one man can date himself without any fears or repercussions as he sits by himself at that table of shame in the restaurant. And so, constitutionally, as long as our single guy is healthy enough to sob quietly into his beer as he pretends to read a book, no one has to care and no one has to pay for his meal. (At least, not until universal restaurant care goes into effect.)

The issue of group man dates - such as going to baseball games with the fellas, hunting with your best-est buds, or wearing blacks robe together at work - will be taken up by the Supreme Court after their wives let them out of the house. Assuming that the women justices are ready to allow the men and their shenanigans back into court.

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Q: I can't afford the "affordable" medical premiums, and I can't afford the fine for not buying insurance. Do I have any other options?

A: Yes, you can get elected to Congress. Not only will you then be exempt from this and many other laws, you can then retire with full pension for life after 4 short years. What better deal than to make rules for others that you don't have to live by, AND get paid forever!

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Q: How many new doctors will the healthcare provision add?

A: Zero. However, we will see about 16,000 new IRS agents, who are rumored to also act as a proctologists. Or as hemorrhoids. Painful either way, unless you become a member of Congress.

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Stay tuned for more questions and answers ...