Frantic Friday Fun

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On Friday, my work day drew to a close as it usually does: my boss bursting into my office at 3 PM with a frantic "I have something important that will only take a few moments for you to handle".

One of my wishes is to get assignments that actually take "only a few moments to handle". But Fridays consistently prove that my fairy godboss still isn't granting any wishes.

Actually, my gracious overload - sorry, my boss - had two "little somethings". The first concerned a device known as "accent lighting". Basically, a piece of fancy electronics that you attach to the bottom of your car door. When you open your door, these lights illuminate the ground so you don't trip getting into your car. These handy gadgets work even better at night. This cool accessory is extremely popular with the cool guys and their cool cars so they don't become clumsy oafs when with their cool dates.

The second crisis involved a trailer hitch module that I had worked on over five years ago. It would detect any obstacles behind your truck and warn you. My little baby would also shut itself off if you had your trailer attached - after all, who wants an annoying electronic device that constantly reminding you of your attached trailer. (Although, if you're going down the road and your trailer falls off, the sudden silence would be an excellent indication that you should pull over and watch the little adventure you just caused.)

With all modesty, I must humbly say that my trailer hitch design was great. It was going to revolutionize the trailer hitch accessories industry. Five years ago, it cost less than $40 to make. Yet, as great as my cheap work-of-art was, management killed the project. In their brilliant minds, the manufacturing cost for everything should be no more than $1. So, even though they planned to sell my baby for $90, the powers-that-be deemed that they wouldn't make enough profit.

My boss's crisis were, in fact, about the profit of his two "little somethings". His boss wanted a detailed report about how we would (not "if it was possible to") make the accent lighting device and the trailer module for a dream-world dollar. And he wanted the report by 5 PM.

I gently reminded my boss that even a small electronic project takes at least 2 weeks of proper research, design, and development work. He came back with, "How hard can it be to look up a few parts, and throw something on a piece of paper? We don't even have to worry about testing." Oh, that's right. I keep forgetting that we shouldn't worry about safety issues. After all, that's why we have customers.

He left after I told him I could give him a very, very rough estimation of the projects' details by Monday (free time during the weekend is highly over-rated anyway). An hour later he called my phone. "Don't worry about those projects," he said. "My boss decided we can get something from China in a couple of weeks." Great! For the past three years, we've had to re-engineer several boatloads of botched products from China. Those added costs never seem to make it into management's manufacturing reports.

Oh well. Just another Friday to make me feel secure in my employment. I feel so much safer too.