Want to treat your body better? Well, according to several kill-joy articles that crossed my RSS feed this week, we must drink little or no coffee. At the very least, these obviously perky morning-type writers want us to start drinking "responsible". As the old saying goes, "Friends don't let friend get wired." (Unless you're a puppet.)
You know, I thought I have been an excellent caretaker of that holiest of temples: my body. Aside from a few dusty pews (blamed on the dog, of course), I thought I was doing fine.
To me, responsible coffee drinking means going into Starbucks and ordering a Grande sugar-free, non-fat, heavy on the whipped cream, vanilla latte with 3 shots of espresso, filled 2/3 to the top, pouring whole milk on top with 3 shakes of Cinnamon, followed by extra whipped foam and a little soy latte. * The responsible part comes from you ordering this with a straight face and your pinky extended as you hand over your wallet to be vacuum- cleaned of cash (the vacuum-cleaning is a free service, by the way).
So how do you know if you've "coffee'd" irresponsibly? Fortunately, like everything else, there's an app for that. As of today, my ancient iPhone 3G runs the "Caffeine Zone 2 Lite" app. Once you have entered your weight, this handy piece of coding tracks the time you drank your coffee, how quickly you drained your cup, and the amount of invigorating goodness you poured down your throat. The app then shows you how long the caffeine lasts in your system as you buzz about saving the world from kill-joy articles on responsible coffee drinking.
Yes, I know. Some people do take things to excess. And yes, perhaps you need a wee less caffeine if you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. But aside from those who could stand still during an earthquake, most of us know our limits and act accordingly.
Not to brag about my actions, but my girlfriends have often compared me to coffee: I'm warm, dark (when the lights are out), and I keep them up all night - usually from snoring. I should point out these comments were made by ex-girlfriends, a couple of whom have been writing kill-joy articles on coffee.
Hey, just a minute ...
*A little coffee trivia: "Soy latte" is not Spanish for "I am late". I discovered this little fact when I added that phrase to my order one morning while in a hurry. The Mexican barista standing behind the counter was not impressed. Lucky for me, he did not charge for the spit added to my drink.
1 comment:
So funny that I feel the need to get in my car and go to Starbucks just to order the coffee you suggested.
I rarely drink coffee unless its 98% foam in proportion to the coffee itself. But I am a tea drinker that occassionally hears the caffeine kills you or heals you depending on the study. Wait about 10 minutes and a new study will tell you that if you want to live forever you can't get enough caffeine in your body. The next study will proclaim it is a miracle elixer. So in anticipation for the pro caffeine study and the pro-cheesecake study results, I have adjusted my diet accordingly.
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