Last night, every available police officer in Orlando Florida had to be called out to handle an unexpected riot. Can you guess why a crowd of concerned citizens had gathered and required the presence of Orlando's finest?
A) It was a demonstration to protest some social injustice,
B) It was a job fair for billionaires,
C) It was bingo night at the senior center, and the take was particularly large,
D) None of the above.
If you went with “D”, congratulations. You were smart enough to know that billionaires have very little injustice in their lives, and that the only time they riot at a bingo game is when the tapioca and cognac have run out.
Yes, I'm being silly. The actual, also-ridiculous-but-true answer is "E”: limited edition of glow-in-the-dark Nike sneakers were being sold for over $200. Apparently, people with lots of time on their hands and little money thought they should go shopping.
Judging from the news videos, some people were more concerned with buying fancy, $220 shoes than with buying a $20 belt. I don't understand. How can you show off your fancy shoes when they're covered by your droopy drawers?
You probably will never see that Orlando crowd rioting for similarly priced Lowa boots. After all, there is a little more effort involved with hiking and mountaineering than with hanging around the street corner trying to look gangsta'.
I'm even more certain that you will never see those mobs go that crazy for a pair of work boots – and you see midnight sales for that footwear rather frequently. As with before, there is a lot more effort with being productive than with, well, just sayin’.
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