[continued from "My Future Predictions (Part 1)"]
Consider all these baby clothes being given to each mother-to-be. From what I've noticed lately, it seems that these clothes are magically increasing their numbers at astounding rate. Pretty much in the same fashion as socks magically multiply in the dryer. Couple this growth with the declining birthrate in the United States. Pretty soon, each baby will have enough outfits to last until he or she graduates from college – provided he or she can still fit into onesies. Obviously, it's going to take several generations before the infant accouterments will show enough wear to warrant replacement.
Not a problem. I'm sure the baby clothing industry is already working on a plan to keep demand for their products at an all-time high. All they have to do is focus on the opposite end of the population spectrum – that's right, senior citizens.
First of all, everyone knows how seniors love pets, especially small ones. Not only are the little animals cute and easier to handle, but you can both eat from the same tin of cat or dog food. And as guaranteed retirement funds become un-guaranteed and more scarce than honest politicians, our aging baby boomers will have to cut back on necessities like heat. What better way to keep a precious pet warm than to dress it up in a baby's 3T Barney the dinosaur T-shirt.
Not only can seniors dress their favorite dog or cat as an infant, but we all know how the older you get, the short you become. What may have fit your grandson, may now hug your shrinking octogenarian body. What was once the cute attire of a bald, drooling, diaper-wearing child will be the functional attire for a bald, drooling, diaper-wearing adult.
Only the low next few years will tell for sure what will happen with this ever advancing sea of infant clothing. I think I'm going to start picking out my outfits now and be a trendsetter.
1 comment:
Ce post m'a beaucoup aide dans mon positionnement. Merci pour ces informations
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