I met a man last night who is struggling with his thoughts of getting a divorce. Another situation where children under 10 are involved. The instinct of taking no action, justifying itself by the thought of "I'll wait until they are older" conflicts with his need to resolve the situation and avoid the pain of a marital prison.
What could I tell him to help? Here is someone going through a painful time that I am sadly familiar with. Regardless of his decision to act, I felt that his first priority was to protect himself and his assets. Unfortunately, I'm not qualified and my experience have been very different. Fortunately, another man at work, Chris, was going through a similar divorce and took action. So, for my part, I persuaded Toby to talk with Chris. Hopefully, Toby's life will be the better for it.
Odd how you usually think of the divorce having an evil partner and a victim. Has anyone ever met someone who is going through the divorce and thought, "A-ha, here is the evil partner! I hope that your victimized spouse triumphs over you!" Instead, I have always seemed to come in contact with the victim of the marriage --- the one who has been done badly by their spouse, the one who has suffered needlessly from the immaturity or stupidity or cruelty of their significant other. Sometimes I wish that I could lend an ear to the other member of the divorce and hear their side of pain. I wish that Rose would have told me her thoughts ....
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