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Monday, November 22, 2010

Congress Gives Me Gas

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For the past five years, I've kept track of my fuel expenditures because that's what a divorce will drive you to – counting pennies so you don't end up stranded in the middle of nowhere, hoping for rich old lady to stop, pick you up, and take you home where you live happily ever after in her generous will. Wishful thinking aside, I just want to make sure my car didn't run out of gas and leave me at the mercy of rogue squirrels out to avenge their flattened, road-killed brethren.

Keeping up with this expense has allowed me track my gas mileage as well. As you can see from my MPG chart, there are seasonal trends as well as indications that something expensive was about to break. It was this year’s numbers that had me a little concerned at first. Usually, my mileage rebounds in the Fall time of the year.  Problems?  Fortunately, I have the good fortune of knowing very fortunate mechanic. He looked over the car and said that I was safe from vigilante squirrels for a little while longer. So why isn't my gas mileage coming back up like it should? He wasn't sure and proceeded to blame my faithful car’s youthful 260,000 miles of age. But I think I have a better answer.

As I filled up my car early this morning, the first brand new rays of sunlight ricocheted off of the ethanol sticker on the gas pump. It used to say "may contain up to 10% ethanol." May. As in might have somewhere between zero but not quite 10%. Today, after I recovered my eyesight from the bullets of a brand-new sparkly day, I noticed the sticker now reads "contains at least 10% ethanol but less than 15%."

I know you physics majors are way ahead of me on this but the early morning fog in my mind took a bit to clear. Once my mental process snapped into place like the fragile twigs that they are, I realized that ethanol has much less explosive power than gasoline – a very reduced bang for the buck which unfortunately doesn't show up in the pump price. It isn't my car that is the problem. It has just been corn-fused and I’ve been confused and we all have just been conned.

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