Today I took an opportunity to get the annual car inspection done. For the past couple of years, my car was relatively new so my only worry was getting done before the sticker expired. This is unlike my previous car, which I put over 400,000 miles on. Naturally more and more items would fail each inspection with the ever increasing miles. I would then have to run around getting them fixed before time ran out. Each required inspection become more or more dreadful with each year. When I bought my new car, the worries disappeared. Even though the State passed more rigid inspection standards when I bought my new car, the past five visits have been no big deal.
This year is a little different. My car is closing in on the 130,000 mile mark. Things have started failing. Visions of the troubles with my previous car race through my mind. With the State’s strict standards and the way my life feels so out of control at times, my worries were beginning to get the best of me. But I faced my fears this morning. I stepped out the door to find a garage that did inspections. “This is no big deal,” I repeatedly told myself, “This is no big deal.” Yet, when I calmly started up my beautiful car, the race of my fears and dreads began. “Anxieties are mounting … their steeds … and they’re off! ‘Will-I-Find-A-Station’ jumps out in front, closely followed by ‘Will-I-Have-To-Wait-Long’. Trailing close is ‘What-Will-They-Find’, several nagging doubts and the ‘What-If’ family with ‘What-If-I-Can’t-Fix-It’, ‘What-If-I-Can’t-Find-A-Garage’, and ‘What-If-I-Don’t-Have-Enough-Money’ leading that pack. They round the turn as I see a sign “We do NC State Inspection”! ‘Can-They-Do-My-Car-Now’ jumps to the front as ‘Will-I-Find-A-Station’ falls, breaking its legs. ‘What-if-They-Mess-Up-My-Car’ is now neck and neck for first place as I walk into the station. It looks like ‘What-if-They-Mess-Up-My-Car’ has captured first place as a heavy-set, unsmiling mechanic takes my keys and grunts that he can do it. It’s now a horrific battle between ‘What-if-They-Mess-Up-My-Car’, ‘What-Will-They-Find’, and ‘What-If-I-Can’t-Fix-It’ with several unnamed doubts nagging in the rear. We’re waiting for the reassuring honk of the car horn but no one has heard it! Tensions are mounting …. and have joined the race! But wait! There is my car coming into sight. ‘What-Have-They-Found’ has come out of no where and taken the lead!! But the mechanic is smiling and those don’t look like dollars signs in his eyes. Only few lengths from the finish line and several worries have stumbled!! Wait! Wait! Wait! It looks like … yes … it is … [Sir, your car is ready. That will be $30.] … YES!!! All the worries have broken their legs and fallen inches short of the finish. They are being shot as we pay and a welcome calm has descended upon this nerve wracking event.”
Why do I sweat the small stuff like this? It wasn’t a big deal years ago. Is it simply case of conditioning --- of having more events slap me about than having events reward me? I’ve got to get a grip if I’m going to make it to 50!
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