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Friday, February 08, 2013

Early Morning Scare

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This morning, an old unsmiling man stood staring at me. Why? Was he trying to impress me with the bulging bags under his bloodshot eyes? The only thing missing from those bags was the Samsonite logo.

His sagging face and body made him the perfect poster child for gravity - if gravity needed to promote itself with an aging, droopy child.

In a crowd, he would be easily spotted. Mainly, by his leopard-skinned clothing.

All I could do was stared back at him and his blemishes and wrinkles and drooping jowls and imperfections and spotted clothes.

All I could feel was contempt and nausea.

I really should stop looking at myself in a mirror.

Perhaps, I should wear make-up. I understand nothing does a better job than Sear's weather-beater paint and spackling compound.

Perhaps, I should dress in something less obvious. Camouflage comes to mind. But I can't find what I'm looking for. The material is that good.

Better yet, I'll just give myself an instant make-over ... by throwing away all my mirrors. Problem solved.

As long as I stay indoors.

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

I sincerely doubt that you stick out in a crowd but I do have to question the leopard-skinned clothing. I know that it is popular but NO ONE has really been able to look good covered in dead animal hides. (even faux...same thing)

I have already tried weather-beater paint but the Sherwin Williams (#6106 Kilm Beige with a little 6105 Divine White thrown in is pretty close to right)

Getting rid of the mirrors sounds like a start, but I would have to remove the windows in my house as well. I like really clean windows...so reflections are possible.