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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Step 102: How Not To Run A Business

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A nuclear explosion takes place when the most insignificant of particles creates an escalating chain reaction that quickly becomes an OMG BOOM! Of course, by the time you think of the acronym OMG, the boom has already reduced you to more insignificant particles.

So this past Monday, yet another employee (insignificant in the eyes of the powers-that-be) turned in her notice and unintentionally started what may become a nuclear explosion within our company. I'll give you time to read my post about her actions. Okay, done? Well then, let me post about the today's next action in this chain of disastrous business decisions as our Director of human resources showed herself to be Catbert's role model.

She strolled about the plant handing out her restrictive policy (highly approved by the CFO and Pres) on employee vacation time. What she didn't expect were the angry questions and comments as she went from production cell to production cell. She might as well have been poking a large bear with a stick. She reacted to one employee who has been there 37 years by asking sarcastically, "Do you really believe that you deserve 20 days off a year?" After years of simmering employee frustration over greedy business policies, you can imagine how this attitude by our wonderful HR and the impromptu rule change has pushed the workers to a boiling point. Shortly after she finished her walk through the plant, we received notice that there would be an employee meeting about the new vacation protocol and "other important matters".

Our guess at this moment is that "other important matters" means stopping 401(k) matching or, to appease the natives who are now considering a sitdown strike, pay raises that are six years overdue. We'll find out tomorrow if this chain reaction destroys what could have been a great company.

Jan. 8th: Update

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