It seems like our government has invaded every aspect of our bedroom. Still, with all the concerns for morality and safety, they have yet to touch on that one key element that can be a matter of life or death, between a good night's rest or a tragic accident. Yes, I'm talking about silk bedding. There's nothing like the coolness of the fabric against your skin. There is nothing so heavenly as the silky-smooth, effortless movement experienced in such a bed. Yet, for all its beauty and seductive appeal, it is a terror just waiting for the right moment.
I discovered this all too well when I got a set for my water bed. All squeaky clean and dried from a recent shower, I dashed nakedly in between the covers only to learn that there is very little friction between silk and skin. I zoomed in one end of the bed and ended up airborne on the other side. It would've been a great ride had bedroom wall not been silently standing two feet from my exit point. The only thing slicker and more dangerous is if you attempt the same movement while wearing silk pajamas. Not only is there no friction but I believe that there is a scientific principle that describes how silk-on-silk will actually add more momentum to an object in motion. In fact, right now as we speak, scientists are feverishly working on a perpetual motion machine based on this silk-on-silk phenomenon.
The last thing I want is for government to outlaw silk bedding. At the same time, I don't want any close friends or distant strangers to end up putting their heads through their bedroom walls after achieving escape velocity in the confines of their bedroom. Perhaps this is our answer to the current war. Perhaps we should make gifts of the finest silks pajamas and bedding to the members of Al Qaeda. What better way to hasten their goal of obtaining their heavenly reward of 40 virgins ...
1 comment:
I will happily accept the danger in exchange for that silky smoothness agaist my skin.
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