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Saturday, March 01, 2008

Becoming A Really Grape Guy

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Now I'm getting a little age on me, my tastes have become a little more sophisticated. I'm considering giving up the Thunderbird and the Ripple and joining a wine club. That's what sophisticated people do. If you've noticed, it's that sophisticated lot who tell you what wine to drink, when to drink it, where the grapes came from and who picked them. They're usually the ones who constantly say "a meal without a perfect wine is like a day without sunshine." Of course, I'm thinking that on a day without sunshine, you can still get drunk. I also have to wonder about a "meal with a perfect wine." Is there such thing as the perfect alcohol beverage for breakfast? If you're drinking wine for breakfast, you're already passed the point of caring how perfect that bottle of fermented grapes really is.

Maybe I'm just not that sophisticated. Maybe I will just buy a heavy stick and beat defenseless grapes into my very own juicy pulp -- my very own wine club. And each slaying with the club, I'll just be sure to extend my pinky finger to show that I've got class.

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