Cowpocalypse averted!

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Do you avoid drinking milk? Well, let me thank you. Our gracious overlords - sorry, our federal government has reached at least one agreement today and avoided a potential cowpocalypse.

Yes, federal taxes will take more of your hard-earned money. But it's not like you were spending your dollars on dairy products.

So consumers of that delicious moo juice thank you for the sacrifice of your idle funds. Now, milk-drinkers won't have to hand over extra moolah to pay $7 a gallon for their favorite beverage.

You have this country's udder gratitude!

"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." Enjoy the decline.