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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Weight for it ...

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I saw a hopefully sign of economic growth in my area as yet another exercise gym opened its doors. Actually, YOU have to open them - large, heavy, steel framed rectangles on stiff pivots that cause you to have an instant workout. Of course, someone is just inside the entrance to immediately charge for using their 'equipment'. That, or to collect your body if you don't make it through their doors of death.

It seems to be a modern place with all of the latest in gadgets and outlandish fads guaranteed to make your wallet thinner. And, if you act now to sign up, you can pick one of two specials: hcg shots for weight loss or nude workout classes.

I understand the "no pain, no gain" mantra. But needles and I have a wonderful working arrangement. They stay away from me and I won't try to shove them through my delicate skin.

As for the other special, I don't know if I could handle a class where its overweight members can only workout in the nude. I'm sure you understand how it make for a great weight regiment. After a few minutes of watching a fat person sweat all over the exercise machine, you've pretty much lost your appetite and anything else on your stomach.

Either way, I'm sure that this gym will be in business for a while. The owners also rented the empty store next to their exercise facility. Judging by the tantalizing aromas coming from inside of that second business, it looks like we have a new, tasty doughnut shop!!!

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