You would think with all the daily aggravations and worries, I would have no concern about how much the earth lovingly pulls me to her bountiful bosom. But lately her love -- a love that I easily measure in pounds -- is reaching record highs. Yes, I like the old girl. Yet, I think I like the noncommittal weightlessness of the heavens even more.
So a few weeks ago, I began to lessen my absorption of mother Earth's bounty. Sadly, I learned that simply eating less is not easy. As my bathroom scales showed the lessening of her weighty love, my hunger grew until mother Earth invaded my dreams with sweet fantasies of rich chocolate that begs to be tasted and those feathery soft marshmallows that teasingly satisfy your tongue for a quick second before tormenting your cravings for even more.
I awoke a couple of mornings ago after one of those gluttonous nightmares and discovered my hunger gone ... as well as my two feathery down pillows. Since then, I feel great (aside from burping up feathers or being a little down in the mouth)! Gravity's attraction toward me is slipping away more each day! Those agonizing dreams of food have ceased. I think I may have discovered the best diet pills in the world, or at least, the best diet pillows ever made.
For now I don't know when I will replace my fluffy headrests. After all, because of inflation even the price of down is up. And, as the Earth's love melts away ounce by ounce, I may find myself floating up amongst the weightless stars soon enough ... maybe snacking on a Mar's bar or a Milky Way ... mmmmmmmmmmmm
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