Apparently, the expression "three sheets to the wind" has naval origins. When the wind pushed on two sheets attached to the mast of a boat, the seaworthy craft will move forward in a relatively stable manner. Three sheets, however, move the boat in an erratic fashion, similar to a sailor who had one too many delicious mai tais.
Since the trappings of a rich neighborhood are on one side of me and the not-so-wealthy residents border the other side, I get to see extremes. When a wealthy resident staggers home through our neck of the woods, their windy three sheets are of yves delorme quality. You can tell this when they trip over a blade of grass. Our inebriated friends awkwardly kiss the ground while gracefully extending their pinky finger to the sky.
My economically challenged neighbors will be more of a Wal-mart quality sheets to the wind. They will trip over that same blade of grass. While mother Earth rudely impedes their progress to the center of the planet, they extending a different finger than the pinky. For some reason, this finger is associated with birdlike qualities. I can only assume is that it is because it gives our feathered friends a place to perch in the early hours of a new day.
I just want you to know that I do give a sheet. Still, my blanket apologies to anyone who might be offended.
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