Instant Weight Loss

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I think that the Earth is getting heavier as time goes by. Maybe you have noticed this effect as well. When I compare my weight to what I was in my 20s, I have undeniable proof that this is happening.

To counteract the Earth's tug on me, I tried using weight loss pills Unfortunately every time I lost the pounds, I ended up putting them back on. I was working in a lost-and-found that the time. My boss would say, "Hey, these pounds look familiar. Are they yours?" Of course they were so I would reluctantly put them back on.

I have the perfect idea for weight loss. We simply take all the billions of dollars spent on dieting and develop a space program to send out Mt. Everest into space. We'll instantly be a lot lighter and without any of the effort. Remember, you read it here first.

My Neighbor Tries To Exercise Again

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My next-door neighbor constantly goes through spurts of diet and exercise. Yesterday, I watched as the UPS truck pulled up and delivered his latest exercise equipment into his carport. I walked over to see what he got as he began to open the box. Inside was the latest craze -- exercise steps -- very nicely made and pricey. I then watched him pickup his new fitness toy and walk up three stairs into his house. Can anyone tell me what the difference is between walking up and down mail order steps and using the house's stairs? I know that with the exercise steps, you can feel an immediate lightness. But it's all in your wallet. Of course, this is the same guy who told me about his punishing exercise program a few months ago: two minutes on one of those treadmills, followed by a lie down, a glass of whiskey, and a cigarette. Now that's punishing ... which explains why he gave up the treadmill!

Drinking To Your Health

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Some people go to bars and nurse their beers. You can't miss them. They're the ones with soggy nipples. If you think this is unusual behavior, what about the new medical diagnostic procedure that a few doctors are starting to use? Let's see, how can I put this delicately? Just as a mechanic examines the exhaust emissions to troubleshoot your car problems, a few doctors want the "emissions" that their patients create in the restrooms of their local drinking establishments. These bar stools are said to reveal much more about the patient's health than samples from their home environment. Personally, I think these doctors are just looking for an excuse to make a house call at a place where they know they can get a drink and charge someone in the process.

Is There A Doctor In The House?

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The Internet is a great source of information, yet I'm having a difficult time using it to find a decent doctor. And, in keeping with my previous post, I do need to find a good physician. You know, someone who didn't cross their fingers when they took the Hippocratic's oath. A professional that doesn't keep you waiting hours after your scheduled appointment. An astute person that has competent diagnostic skills instead of someone that has instant assumptions based on the first couple of words out of your mouth. Someone who doesn't think that "virus" is Latin for "your guess is as good as mine." Does such a qualified physician exist?

With the thousands of doctors across the country, you'd think that there would be some form of consumer rating system. There are a few medical websites. But since they want you to buy a membership first, I have no idea if they offer the service that I'm looking for. I guess I'm going to have to use the tried and true method of opening the phone book, picking a doctor at random, and then calling him to ask, "Who do you see when you're sick?"

Remember This Charity Walk for Alzheimer's

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I was reading that three things happen to you as you age. First your memory starts to go. Next there is...um, well, I seem to forgotten the other two. Lately it seems that my memory isn't quite as reliable as it used to be. I don't know if it's just the stress of these past few years taking their toll. But at times it's been embarrassing, if not downright scary, when I find myself forgetting the name of someone I've known for several years. There may be a bright side if this trend continues. One year I may find that I can hide my Easter eggs and, a few moments later, have the thrill of trying to find them. I'm trying to laugh about these recent bouts of lapses in memory. Yet, in the back of my mind, there's a small fear that grows slightly with each incident of forgetfulness. That fear goes by the name of Alzheimer's.

It wasn't until 1901 when a German psychiatrist, Alois Alzheimer, documented the first case of this disease that now bears his name. In the hundred years that followed his initial case study, we have learned more about this debilitating disease. It is much more than just occasional forgetfulness. The onset of the disease also shows up as a difficulty in orienting yourself in space -- such as walking down the aisle in the grocery store. As Alzheimer's progresses, there is a marked deterioration in short-term memory. A person will also begin to become disoriented in areas they used to know so well. At this point, there can be noticeable changes in the behavior of the afflicted, such as violent outbursts or extreme passivity.

While the symptoms and the causes of Alzheimer's are better known today, there still isn't a cure. To help in the research, I want to direct your attention to a nationwide Fundraising event. Set for the Autumn of this year, this vital charity walk is in need of our support. Please go to this site and type in your zip code to find the nearest memory walk in your area. I encourage you to sign up as a team captain for this very important function while it is still early. It is quite possible that the memory you help to save may be your own.

Maybe You Don't Need To Worry About Dieting Any More

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I heard a very interesting science story about dieting on NPR the other day. If you've ever worked to manage your weight through various diets, you're probably familiar with the following scenario: you have done very well getting the pounds to come off. But then you reached your goal weight, you hit a plateau. You couldn't get the last few pounds off your body without taking drastic measures.

According to science writer Gina Kolatafor, this isn't your fault. She has recently written "Rethinking Thin: The New Science of Weight Loss — and the Myths and Realities of Dieting". In her book, she maintains that our bodies are genetically wired to maintain our weight between a range of values rather than at a single number. Different people have different setpoints that will slow down or speed up their metabolism to keep them within that range. Ms. Kolatafor says that this explains why you can diet down to one weight only to regain what you worked so hard to lose in the first place. While this five minute story made Ms. Kolatafor ideas sound very plausible, I would like to get a hold of the book to learn exactly what she's talking about.

Celebrity Fun Fact Time

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All righty then! What does Oprah Winfrey and Bette Midler have in common? No, I'm not focusing on the fact that they are largely women. Well, I mean that they are women, not large women. Alright, let me throw in Elizabeth Taylor and George Forman. Throw? I'm not that strong. I better just point. Anyway, does that help you identify what they all have in common? If you're not up on your celebrity trivia then I'll tell you. They have all been reported to have used Hoodia in their body weight management. As for myself, I would have blamed the personal trainers and the personal chefs for the weight loss. But then trainers and chefs aren't known for paying celebrities for endorsements.

Levitra, a stimulating topic?

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Are there any topics that I won't blog about? At this point, everything is a challenge -- to make it interesting, to make it engaging and funny, to make it worthwhile reading. Not that I succeed very often. And some topics are more difficult than others.

Take the name of the drug that doctors prescribe for male sexual dysfunction: Levitra. How did they come up with that nomenclature? The name certainly brings about images of levitation, of raising things. Perhaps raising things from the dead? Nah, dead things are supposed to be stiff already. Yes, I realize that the medical condition is no laughing matter. Yet, imagine what the discussion must have been like around the marketing table and the names that didn't quite make it.

I have to say that this post was a hard one to write. So I don't know how excited you may have gotten from reading this. If this entry erects images that stay up in your thoughts for longer than four hours, consult your physician. He may prescribe some bad music to help ease this mental stimulation.

Carolina Culinary Foods Recalls Chicken Breast Strips

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Not that I'm trying to be a Chicken Little with these warnings posts, but if this little chicken had been processed by Carolina Culinary Foods, I might be in the middle of a recall! According to the USDA web site, Carolina Culinary is recalling their chickens strips due to a fouling from Listeria contamination. So check your package for this:

* 6-ounce packages of "OSCAR MAYER/LOUIS RICH CHICKEN BREAST STRIPS WITH RIB MEAT, GRILLED, FULLY COOKED - READY TO EAT." The front of each package bears the establishment number "P-19676" inside the USDA mark of inspection. On the back of each package appears a "Use by" date of "19 Apr 2007."

The Scoop On The Peanut Butter Scoop

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Before you make that peanut butter and 'nanar** sandwich, STOP! Are you using Peter Pan or Great Value peanut butter? STOP! Look at the product code that is stamped on the lid of the jar. Does it begin with the number "2111" ????? SSTTOOPP!!!! and throw that jar away! The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a warning that this type of peanut butter may be contaminated with Salmonella Tennessee (a bacterium that causes foodborne illness). They are saying that you should discard your jars if they have been purchased since May 2006. So far no one has died. Yet, there have been 288 cases of foodborne illness in 39 states since August of 2006. Has you or anyone that you know been affected? Leave a comment here... Thanks for reading and I hope that this has helped you!

** my southern-to-english dictionary defines 'nanar thusly: (n.) banana

HGH revisited

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In an earlier post, I talked about a Human Growth Hormone (HGH) supplement. In doing a little more research, I found a couple of methods that demonstrate how the reduction in HGH effects your body.

Let's start with the elasticity of the skin. Take one hand, have it completely flat with the palm facing towards the ground. With your other hand, pinch about a half inch of skin on the back of the flattened hand. When you release that pinch, count how many seconds it takes to recover onto the back of your hand. If you are under 30, the skin almost instantaneously snaps back into place. The older you are, the more agonizingly slowly this process becomes. The claim of several HGH supplements is that they will restore this elasticity to youthful levels. Of course, you should be aware that if you are dehydrated, you will get similar results.

Another test is to stand on one leg, close your eyes and count how many seconds you can remain upright before losing your balance. This is an easy task for those under 30. While some people in their fifties are considered fortunate if they can last 20 seconds.

If you're going to take these HGH supplements, I would suggest using these tests and annoting your condition before hand. Take several more measurements over the course of a few weeks and compare them to see if you are getting results from the supplements. I'd like to hear from you and compile an unofficial tally here on this blog.