Drinking To Your Health

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Some people go to bars and nurse their beers. You can't miss them. They're the ones with soggy nipples. If you think this is unusual behavior, what about the new medical diagnostic procedure that a few doctors are starting to use? Let's see, how can I put this delicately? Just as a mechanic examines the exhaust emissions to troubleshoot your car problems, a few doctors want the "emissions" that their patients create in the restrooms of their local drinking establishments. These bar stools are said to reveal much more about the patient's health than samples from their home environment. Personally, I think these doctors are just looking for an excuse to make a house call at a place where they know they can get a drink and charge someone in the process.

Is There A Doctor In The House?

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The Internet is a great source of information, yet I'm having a difficult time using it to find a decent doctor. And, in keeping with my previous post, I do need to find a good physician. You know, someone who didn't cross their fingers when they took the Hippocratic's oath. A professional that doesn't keep you waiting hours after your scheduled appointment. An astute person that has competent diagnostic skills instead of someone that has instant assumptions based on the first couple of words out of your mouth. Someone who doesn't think that "virus" is Latin for "your guess is as good as mine." Does such a qualified physician exist?

With the thousands of doctors across the country, you'd think that there would be some form of consumer rating system. There are a few medical websites. But since they want you to buy a membership first, I have no idea if they offer the service that I'm looking for. I guess I'm going to have to use the tried and true method of opening the phone book, picking a doctor at random, and then calling him to ask, "Who do you see when you're sick?"