A Special Keyboard for ... Blondes

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You've probably realized that we live in a time when there is a niche market for everything. But in this age of making sure we don't hurt each other's feelings, I wasn't expecting to find a keyboard for blondes.

Click on the picture and take a look at those keys!!


Yes I agree that the wording of the keys is very helpful. Who among us -- blonde, brunette, redhead, clear (you bald guys) -- has not found ourselves frantically searching the keyboard for an "any key" to press when prompted by the superior intellect of our computer? I know that blondes have all the fun but shouldn't the rest of us be allowed to have such a keyboard? To limit this kind of joy to those with fair hair is a bit discriminatory, don't you think? The next thing you know only blondes will be allowed to buy books without words in them. (Although I don't think that will stop them from moving their lips while they're reading.)

Little Known Moments In History

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In the early days of photography, only the rich and the very vain would do everything they could to have their picture taken. It isn't widely known that Napoleonic Armies of France made use of this human flaw as they invaded Austria.

For several days, a French general worked hard to overtake a strategic Austrian castle. When he learned that the Baron of the castle was an extremely vain man, the General sent word to the Baron that he was giving up his attack but wanted to take a photograph of the man he considered to be his superior. Knowing how good this would look in the history books, the Baron eagerly agreed. The French general also knew that the Baron wasn't the brightest sausage in the link. So this brilliant solder of Napoleon disguised a canon with a curtain to look like a very expensive camera set up. You know the results. The Baron posed. The French general said "Smile big for me!" and lit the fuse. The Baron was blown away by the skill of the invading photographer. And the French showed off their newly acquired castle in a series 8-by-10 glossies.

There have been many battles throughout the history of the world. But this moment marked the first use of the Canon camera.

RIP XP

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The first of July marked a sad day in the computer world. This was the first day that the effective, technologically proven operating system of Windows XP became unavailable to the world of hard-working computer users. On this day, productivity across the globe dipped. The only ones not mourning are the makers of the bloated, memory hogging system known as Vista and the producers of the ram (random access memory) modules. RIP XP ...

How To Tell If Your Friends Respond To Spam E-mails

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Here we are in the 21st century and we're still getting spam e-mails about magic lotions that will enlarge certain parts of your anatomy and weight-loss creams that will shrink other parts of your body. Does anybody ever reply to these e-mails? You would think that people would ignore this spam because the products might not work. I think people wouldn't respond to these e-mails on the possibility that these products would work! In the case of the lotions of enlargement, wouldn't your friends be a little suspicious when one of your hands become twice the size of a normal hand? For those using a weight loss cream, you would know as soon as you reached out to and shook their Barbie-doll sized hand...

Can Some Things Be Too Thin?

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Eons ago (in terms of how fast technology advances. Actually it was this past January.), Sony brought forth upon the gadget-starved world an OLEP (organic light emitting display) television that was as thick as three credit cards. Coincidentally, three credit cards are exactly what you need to max out to purchase this rather expensive piece of electronics whenever it is made available to the public.

This week Sony outdid themselves as they revealed their next generation of yet to be released OLEP televisions. This one is thinner than one credit card or one ABS unit (Ally McBeal sideways). While I applaud these advances in home entertainment displays, this TV is just a paper cut waiting to happen when someone goes to clean their brand-new set. This may explain why Sony is recommending to potential customers that they add a well-stocked medical kit to their home theater furniture.

Where Did My Future Goodies Go?

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In 1976, our English teacher had us celebrated of the bicentennial year. Her idea of a festive activity was making us write a paper to put in a time capsule. I have a feeling that time capsule was actually the trash can next to her desk. Still, we had a lot of fun predicting what would take place in 25 years.

Many of us thought we would all have jet packs and eat meals that were nothing more than pills. Some of my pot smoking friends express their hopes in the legalization of marijuana. Personally I thought that would be a bad combination. The last thing that I would want to see is one of my stoned friends jetting through the air while downing a super-size bottle of food pills. (Although "jetting" is probably the wrong term. "Hovering while being awed by pushes from the wind" would be more accurate.)

So here we are in the 21st century and, I have to wonder, what happened? The only jet pack around is on the back of one lucky employee of Disney's Epcot Center. The government hasn't figured out how to make money by legalizing pot. And the only pills remotely related to food are fancy-named diet pills, which may help if you get the munchies by less-than-legal means.

The future looked bright. We tried to wear shades. But we're not where we thought we would be. That's ok. For the most part, I think we've got it made.

The Ultimate CD Burner

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I've been involved in the electronics industry for 30 years now. During these years, my friends and family have continually asked me for advice on the latest high tech gadgetry. It's gotten to the point where friends of my friends and family are getting in contact with me with their questions. The other day someone asked me about what would be best to put their music on to CDs. They named off artists and songs that they were interested in -- groups that basically were doing terrible remixes of bad remixes of songs that were once great. After a few minutes of this conversation, it became obvious that there could only be one CD burner for them ... a fireplace.

The Sound of One Phone Not Calling

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Today was an unusually peaceful day at work. Usually when I'm deep into a critical project, I get to a point where my intense focus is about to be rewarded with a solution. Yet, somewhere, somehow, an alarm must go off in the plant. Next thing I know, I'm getting interrupted by the PA system calling me to the production floor to solve a problem or there is an urgent telephone call to deal with the latest managerial crisis. Sometimes I think there is a conspiracy to keep me from completing my appointed tasks.

Today was different -- no pages, no phone calls. The only thing that I noticed was a lot more face-to-face interaction. It almost made work feel quite... human. And then I picked up the phone and learned why everyone seemed more friendly today. Our 15 year old phone system had died. This antiquated marvel of technology (a marvel when it worked correctly), this vital contraption of small business phone systems, this amazing feat of engineering that is only a couple of steps above strings and tin cans has tolled its last bell.

I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. The last I heard was that they no longer made the integrated circuit that ran our phone system. As we speak, the countryside is being scoured, calls are being made (but not from our system) trying to locate an obsoleted replacement part. Will management loosen their tight purse strings for new equipment? Or will our next communications will be done through smoke signals? With all the smoke and mirrors that go on in this place, that shouldn't be a difficult scheme for them to implement.

To Hear Or Not To Hear

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Of all the high tech gadgets I'd like to have, I think one of those noise cancellation type Bose headphones would make my day. But no sooner would I get this convenience of modern technology, when it would be banned because of the idiotic actions of people weeding themselves from the gene pool.

You know as well as I do that there will be people jogging or riding on the street, be-bopping to the uninterrupted sounds of their favorite music, oblivious to the noises of traffic and people about them. "Watch out for that honking car behind you! Oh, too late..." And you know there will be people sitting in their office cubicle, serenading themselves to overcome the mindnumbing tasks in their dead-end jobs. This would be fine except when the fire alarm goes off. Or worse yet, when their boss tells them of yet another assignment and works away without waiting around for an acknowledgment.

Yes, there would be advantages. Imagine how relaxing it would be to fly in a plane and not hear the agonizing cries of babies, the yammering from the person sitting next to you, or the screams of passengers as your plane makes that unscheduled drive toward the earth. For you guys who are constantly badgered into going to yet another chick flick, that once dreaded movie can become a lot more interesting. Instead of watching two people gush about their undying love for each other, the leading man might say "Hasta la vista, Baby!" while his leading lady answers with a burp of bullets (naturally, your version will vary depending on which movie soundtrack you play in your headset. And you will have to have iron-man-like control over your reactions to the hysterical combination of her heart wrenching movie and your alternate soundtrack. If you don't, I believe my warning about Darwin-award type deaths will apply.)

So perhaps we should invest in a little noise canceling technology before they pry it from our cold, deaf ears. Why should we lose out because of a few inconsiderate instances of its use?

Modern Day Drive-In Movie Theater

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As I crested the hill in my car, I noticed a missing billboard that been there for 30 years. It wasn't the appearance of those beautiful trees that stood concealed all these years. No, it was the big, bright and flashy digital signage that now hid those wonders of nature. So eye-catching was this marvel of technology, that cars had pulled over to watch the images change. It's sort of like a modern day drive-in with a twist. Instead of the advertisements taking out the first 30 minutes of the movie, they now become the movie. It's an advertiser's dream. And the next time I go by this sign, I'm going to bring popcorn.

Truck Gas Mileage

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Lately at work, we have been working to fit our vision system and cruise switches onto various 2008 model year pickup trucks, such as Dakota and Toyota. One thing I've noticed in these late year models is the proliferation of electronic controls throughout the vehicle. Even the tonneau cover
for some of the truck bed is motorized. Of course, this means a need for bigger batteries and more powerful alternators than before. This electrical demand is not free. Since these pricey vehicles are already struggling to get 15 miles a gallon, how much of an impact does this increased amperage have the gas mileage? We're estimating 3 to 5 mpg goes into powering everything. But that just our guess.

(by the way, tonneau is pronounced ta’-no)

Wireless Energy Transfer

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Remember those times when you were filming a once-in-a-lifetime moment: your child's first step, your loved one as they receive that well-earned reward, a stranger on the downswing of a police baton, Bigfoot stepping out of a UFO. Is there anything worse than having your camcorder batteries died at the critical moment? (Aside from being chased by Bigfoot or that cop.) Well, that may soon be a thing of the past. Technology has been developed to recharge your vital electronic devices without plugging them in. Next year you will be hearing more and more about wireless energy transfer devices. These technological marvels will charge your cell phone, camcorder, and the like simply by putting your equipment in close proximity to them. Rechargeable batteries may soon be a thing of the past!

Ultimate Coffee Machine

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In the early days of computers, we thought that a 4.7 MHz system was a technological marvel. Compared to our abacus and pocket calculator, it was! These days, systems that are running at 2000 MHz are hot stuff. And I do mean HOT! I imagine you would be sweating a bit too if you had hundreds of switches turning on and off at 2 billion times a second.

Well, get ready because things are about to get hotter with computers that run 50 times faster than today's. Naturally with today's environmental concerns, somebody has asked the question, "Can we do anything with all that wasted heat coming off those new chips?" The answer is yes! Instead of putting a heat sink on the computer chip, they have installed an Espresso Coffee Machine. Soon you too will be able to buzz right along with your computer as you make mistakes 50 times faster than you can today. A word of caution if you get this new system: you'll know that you've had too much espresso when, instead of sweating, you percolate.

Tasty Relationships

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There are some relationships that enhance your life and then there are those that bring you joy at a price ... like bacon. It has become a tough relationship since my doctor told me that I need to work on my high blood pressure. ::: sigh ::: Could I ever give up bacon's crispy kisses? What a sad world it would be. To me, the smell and the taste of cooked bacon makes it a close second to sex. Of course, if we're talking about thick slices of meat, then for some it may be a toss up between pork and porking. In any case, I have been a good boy and have cut way back on unhealthy foods. This was easy to do because my microwave rarely cooked bacon well. Often I ended up with a burnt offerings instead of a meal. I didn't worry about the grease too much. Most of it ended up coating the inside of my microwave. Do you know how difficult it is to lick the inside of your microwave?

Anyway, all this changed a couple of days ago when I received a CrispyClean Bacon Cooker to review. This microwave bacon cooker makes it too easy to prepare six pieces of thick, juicy meat. The bacon cooks in a completely enclosed container, evenly and throughly. I didn't even have to use the smoke alarm as a timer! And, after I safely remove the cooker with its well designed handle, I had the best BLTs that I have had in a long time! Oh, sorry. Please excuse the drool.
So with this innovative device, the CrisplyClean Bacon Cooker has made it easy for me to get into an unhealthy, yet very tasty relationship. I'm so glad it's one that sizzles!

SEMA 2007

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Las Vegas hosts several trade shows throughout the year. One that is related to the automotive aftermarket arena is the SEMA (Specialty Equipment Market Association) show. Even though I have worked as an engineer for an automotive company for over 15 years, I have yet to go to this annual event. At one time, my company was chock-full of enthusiasm, the spirit of innovation, the possibility of a rewarding future, and engineers. During those exciting times, upper management deemed it vital that members of engineering investigate upcoming technology. Research and Development was important to the powers-that-be for future revenue. When everyone returned from this important show, we came up with a lot of profitable products for the company. Of course, from the stories that I heard, not a lot of time was spent sleeping in those Vegas hotels in pursuit of R&D ... and other things.

Ah, good times. Here we are today where greedy owners who are closing in on retirement have stripped the company for immediate profits. The engineering staff is down to a tenth of what it once was. There is no R&D at our company anymore. Engineer has become as most positions in the plant have become -- a necessary evil. The only innovative work that I'm doing now is a redesign of all our production testers from their dying 386, DOS platforms to XP-based systems. This year, only the sales department and, naturally, upper management will be making the pilgrimage to SEMA to peddle our almost obsolete technology.

While moral is at an all time low, we still have a flicker of hope. We all dream that someone will buy the company soon and return us to our productive, happy selves once again. Maybe then, we can return to SEMA as a major factor in the industry.

I've Been Hacked?

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Last week when I signed onto Yahoo to check my mail, I had a couple of instant messages from people I didn't know. The message would say something like, "Hey, remember me? It's been a long time. Check at my pictures here." I've been working with computers and security long enough to know not to click on any suspicious links. How they got my name, I don't know. But I thought those stupid IM were the extent of the hacking.

Yesterday morning, a friend of mine asked me about an IM that I sent her about a lnk to Geocities. I didn't send any IM. Last night, my girlfriend asked me about a similar instant message that she received from me. Again, I never sent any message. Great! Someone is using my name and sending bogus messages.

I've since scanned my work and home computers but they were clean. I've also changed my password to my yahoo account and will be probably do so daily for the next few days. Has anyone else received a falsified IM claiming to be from me? It's times like these that I hate the Internet...

Vanilla Cow Patties

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Once a year, Harvard University gives out awards, known as the Ig Nobel Awards, for obscure and often bizarre research and inventions. One winner turned out to be the recent discovery that Viagra helps hamsters overcome jet lag. Also winning top honors is a Japanese researcher who found a way to extract vanilla favoring from cow dung. I can't wait to see how the market research will go for this product. Will it have to be a blindfold test or can they do a straight survey? "So, Mrs. Johnson, what do you think about this new vanilla extract?" "I'm not sure. I think it tastes like sh.."....ould anyone doubt that there is a market for cow patty vanilla flavoring, think about that last time you drove past a recently fertilized field. Now, wouldn't you prefer the aroma of vanilla? You know this would be much better than having Baskin Robins add "Heifer Hunk Surprise" to their list of flavors.

Doctors and Apples

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If blood is so life-giving, why is it giving me so much trouble lately? For now let's just say that I'm learning how well technology has made medical devices extremely accurate and affordable for the average citizen. For example, with a pulse oximeter, you can indirectly measure the amount of oxygen and changes in blood volume in your skin. Before this little medical miracle of a device, the doctor had to shove a large needle into your arm to extract enough blood that would make even Dracula queasy. After that, there was that anxiety-building wait for the lab results. Today, you can get the same results within minutes. Not only that but you can get them as often as you like. Just imagine the fun you can have by annoying your friends with your latest findings until they secretly wish that you would die. Ain't technology grand! Well, hopefully it will help me now. If I had taken care of this issue a few years ago, things would probably be better. It wasn't the Apple-a-Day that kept the doctor away. It was the cost of my medical insurance. Thanks goodness the medical devices are cheaper now.

How to get the edge over your classmates and fellow workers

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I enjoy trying to analyzing data and come up with trends and predictable forecasts.
Today, I found a site called Swivel that allows you to collect data and graph it for everyone to see and comment. The site is keyed into several data sources such as the various government data banks and financial centers. Here's a graph on "Number of Senators missing a vote, by date." Glad to see our tax dollars hard at work.

Swivel's mission is this:

... to make data useful so people share insights, make great decisions and improve lives. We believe data is most valuable when it's out in the open where everyone can see it, debate it, have fun, and share new insights. Swivel makes it easy to accomplish all this with our simple-to-use blogging tools.

You don't have to be a numbers geek like me to find all sorts of interesting information. If you've got a report and you need some hard data to back your position, Swivel would be the place to start to give you that edge over everyone else. Let me know your thoughts as you try this site out.

Free Form verses Review type posts

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There seems to be some confusion about what a free-form post is and what a review type post is. For example, if I were to do a free-form post on intranet software and link it to epazz.com, I might write about the adventures that I'm having at work as I develop a program to connect our production test equipment through our network. In contrast, if I were to write a review type post, my post would be focused entirely on Epazz's intranet program. In this case, I would probably write about their 30 day free trial of their software; how they seek to improve workflow through an effective collaboration and in-depth personalization to the end-user's level; and how the software is designed to easily integrate to all of an enterprise's backend systems. The difference is that in a review post, the advertiser dictates what point they want covered. In a free-form, the writer has a creative license about the topic.

So if you are an advertiser who would like to have posts written for your product or service, please know that there is a difference between a review and a free-form entry. Please make your request accordingly and thank you for your support.