Springtime Entertainment At The Mall

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Now that spring is here, you know what this means -- less clothes. For us guys, this means that the mall can become a source of visual entertainment. Not only are there beautiful women in outfits that make you glad to be a man, there are also those hilarious herds of guys who dress to attract as much attention as possible. Perhaps you have seen them too. They're usually wearing boardshorts at knee level so they can show off their baggy bloomers.

Any day now I expect a new trend to develop. So don't be surprised when you see these confused studs dragging their pants behind them with the belt connected to their ankle. Remember, you read it here first!

Fashion: In One Year And Out The Other

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Bluefly advertises itself as "the ultimate hook-up for fashion obsessed." There are even Bluefly coupons to help feed that obsession. I may be fixated with a lot of things but fashion isn't one of them. When someone says that burnt orange is the new black for the season, I almost want to whack them with a color chart. For me, it would be a big help if they would put expiration dates on clothes so I would know when they go out of style.

I guess that's the difference between fashion and style; fashions fade away while style lasts forever. As Gore Vidal once said, "Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn." So far, I have one of the three and it's not the first two ...

Hey, Y'all. Watch This!

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My girlfriend and my son were teasing me about not being a bling-kind of guy. It's not that I mind wearing shiny goodies. But I prefer having a low profile to one that attracts attention. Take for example an eye-catching Patek Philippe watch. It has a very elegant, stylish look to it. Yet I don't see myself wearing one, especially with a price tag of over $100,000. I'm not worried about attracting attention. It's the $200,000 worth of bodyguards surrounding me that may bring a look or two in my direction.

Fashion With Function

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Here I am strolling into an important meeting at work. Well, of course it's a meeting at work. Who has meetings at play... all right, aside from golf games... and hunting expeditions... yes, and any day in Congress. But aside from that...

One of the great aspects of doing product reviews is that you sometimes get very cool stuff to try out. Just the other day, I received a dark blue mock turtleneck shirt (the one I'm wearing in the picture) from www.Clothing4All.com. Perfect timing for today's chilly weather. Perfect timing since I needed to look really good. As you can see, I need all the help that I can get. Even though the Clothing4All shirt can't work miracles, it has a great smooth feel to it. While it kept me comfortably warm all day, I discovered that my new shirt has some unexpected benefits as well.

Around here, the guiding principle of business is "Management-By-Crisis." You might know it by its more common term "Overpaid-People-Yelling-A-Lot." By either name, the idea of planning is disregarded. Instead, upper management makes decisions seemingly on the spur of the moment, often contrary to the advice from their more knowledgeable employees. When that inevitable crisis results, you can sit in a meeting and be regaled by the raising voices exchanging colorful words of curse and angrily placed blame. Yet, as you can see from the picture, I made a wonderful discovery. I found that I can retreat into my shirt while keeping a watchful eye out for thrown pencils, cups of coffee, fists, etc.

These meetings could be productive. They could be called to resolve issues and develop cost-effective timelines. Unfortunately, they tend to start at the bottom and go down hill from there. Even for their moments of entertainment, they eventually become absurd wastes of time. And yet again, my shirt served me very well today! As you can see, I am able to withdraw my head and arms and get some actual work done. You can't tell but I'm actually sending a fax. I can poke my head out once the smoke (and mirrors) has cleared and the decision to have a pre-meeting to set up another meeting to discuss why this meeting failed has been set.

And so! If you're looking for style, I highly recommend getting this mock turtleneck shirt. If you're looking for a way to protect yourself from the spittle of bellowing CEO or from mind numbing droning as VPs try to suck up to their boss, you definitely can't go wrong with this article of clothing!


A Big Thanks to my good friend, the Dawnster, for risking her camera to take these pictures. :D