Bein' Drugged in the South

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Ever since the first caveman dragged his bride to their honeymoon suite of the moss and rocks, we've been plagued by what southerns 'round here refer to as a case of the "drugs." According to my neighbors, we was drug out of the womb so we's could be drugged into school after a spell. As we got a little age on us and depending upon the state weddin' laws, we's found ourselves being drug down the alter. After a few years of the ceremonial plate throwin' and learnin' each other's curse words, we'd find ourselves bein' drugged into divorce court. I don't know 'bout other parts of the country, but maybe a little drug rehab might be in order 'round here. Or at least some elocution lessons.

There Is Help...

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It is amazing to what people get hooked on: alcohol, uppers, downers (nothing worse than a drunk on a flight of stairs). Then we go from pushers to pushers and pullers -- you know, people that addicted to the physical abuse of being pushed or pulled. Some of you wake up with the single purpose of being pulled from your bed and then dragged every which way for the rest of your day. What kind of life is that? Fortunately, there is help for those of you who want relief from being dragged about. There are "drug rehabs". "Drug" -- past tense. Because as recovering pull-ees, you know that no one will ever "drag" you again. Unless they're a guy with a preference for dresses and high heels. But that's another post ....