Dark Lining to the Silver Cloud

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Shortly after the Hunt brothers tried to corner the silver market in the late 1970s, I thought it could be a good time for me to buy cheap then sell high. So every year for the next 30 years, I looked up the price for an ounce of silver. I was waiting for the market to begin an upswing and then I would make my fortune. Yet, for every one of those years, silver kept an unprofitable love affair with the $5 mark. I gave up.

Over the this weekend, as I sat reminiscing over my lifetime of failed projects, I happened to look up silver's price. There the ticker sat, mocking me at over $45 an ounce. Instead of cashing in millions of silver bullion bars, I'm cashing in on plans untouched by my action. I missed again.

Next time, I'll get it. Next time, for sure.

Proof that Social Media is for the Birds

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It's only a matter of time before these birds get together for coffee in their nest-cafe and update their Facebeak account. On the plus side, they won't be using pigeon english.

mmmMMMM! GOOD!

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A new Greek restaurant opened up a mile from my home. The food is great! Makes me want to sing, "Did I ever tell you you're my gyro?" I think Whitney would understand if she had eaten there as well.

Baseball in Japan

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Today in Japan, fans flocked to the stadiums as their baseball season starts. I think everyone needed the slow, calming pace of the game as a break from hectic events of the past week.

No one did the wave, for obvious reasons. Well, one guy tried but the boo-nami swept him and his glow sticks out of the park. Of course, there is nothing earth shattering about that expected response from the sea of fans.

Thought for the day

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When I was a child, my mom would warn me about get too big for my britches. Now I’m older and wiser. I just buy britches with expandable waistlines and hope for the best. Mom would be so proud. Maybe.

All It takes is just a few chemicals

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Progesterone is one of those an important hormones in the lives of women. It also has some serious consequences as it rages through the feminine form.

For example, a progesterone side effect would be pregnancy. A result front effect would be an increasing bulge. A back effect would be mild aches and a widening tush. A top effect would be the feeling that our expecting woman has about being easily seen by over-head satellites. The bottom effect would be, well, that's beyond the scope of this modest post.

The fight continues ... round 632

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Woo Hoo! I've just been informed that, this time next month, I get to battle the wicked witch of the west in court. But I'm not worry about my upcoming confrontation with the dark side. I've heard some encouraging words. "Di-vorce is strong with this one." said Obi Wan Kenobi, my attorney-at-law. I know that this farce is with me...

Silence isn't worth the trouble

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I would like to think that I'm now a little wiser and more resourceful than my youthful days. So when the local pawn shop made a big deal about paying lots of cash for any gold you brought in, I decided put my wisdom and resourcefulness to work and learning just how much money I could make.

I went to the pawn shop and told proprietor that I was interested in his "cash for gold” program. He then asked me what I had to offer. I gave most friendly smile, compose myself, and then stood there as quietly as possible. After all, everyone knows that "silence is golden" and I can be extremely silent when need be.

After a few minutes of staring at each other, the clerk moved his hand ever so slowly under the counter, and then continued his gaze upon me. We stood there for so long that I began to think that the silence-to-gold conversion rate must be very low. As I began to wonder how many minutes of silence would get me even a dollar, two police officers suddenly tackled me from behind.

Once they had the handcuffs on me, they immediately wanted to know what I was doing. I explained the brilliant wisdom of my "silence is golden” into “cash for gold” line of thought. "What are you?! Some kind of wise guy?" asked one officer. "Apparently not wise enough." I answered. The second officer then said, "Well, you have the right to remain silent … for what it's worth."

HMD in UK

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I just learned that today is Mother's Day in England. Happy Mother's Day to my aunt and nieces across the pond! I won't tell anyone else. Mum's the word ...

Who was the fool?????

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So today, I sat in our smelly trash bin for eight hours, waiting to surprise the garbage guy for April's Fools day. Last week, he had told me that they were changing the pick-up day from Thursday to Friday. But he never showed. Thank goodness, the trash bin was surprisingly empty today as I sat there in the grime.

May the Fore Be With You

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Sometimes I just don't know what to write about. Especially frustrating is when you get an assignment that links to a review of force factor and your keywords are “fore factor reviews”.

Of course, maybe I'm missing something here. Perhaps there are factors that come before review. Things like engaging ideas, the development of witty prose, words that don't require opening a two hundred pound dictionary - the abridged version.

Maybe the word preceding 'factor' isn't fore, or force. Maybe it's four. Or for. I know that I've shed a few pounds agonizing over how to write this post. Wow, the force factor is good stuff!

Maybe a WTF topic, but it didn't make it...

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The English language took a giant step forward as the Oxford English Dictionary added new words, sorry, initialisms to its esteemed volume: OMG, LOL, FYI, TMI, BFF, IMHO, and that little heart thingy, ♥. I wondering how fast Shakespeare is "RO"ing in his grave.

Glow of the Screens

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According to several tech sites such as LifeHacker.com, April is usually the best time of the year to buy flat screen TVs. Major manufacturers are about to roll-out their latest bleeding edge technology so the old stuff has got to GO! As a result, prices usually drop drastically on last year's hot technical fads as your favorite store tries to get rid of its dust-gathering inventory. Oh boy!

Unfortunately, this year may be a bit different. Japan's incredible earthquake has had a major affect on the world's electronic supply chain. The lcd tv reviews of Sony and Hitachi production lines for prism films and anisotropic conductive film report that they may be out of commission for several months. Since these two companies account for 70% of the global supply chain, it may be next spring before the latest technological goodies will be at your local store.

For now, you'll just have to make do with your 240 Hz, 1080p, high definition home entertainment system while those in Japan try to make do with, oh, I don't know, food and water that doesn't glow.

re-adapt, re-adopt, and .... improve?

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Metaphorically speaking, if you are trying to dig a 10 foot ditch with a toothpick, there comes a time when you have to re-evaluate your tools and your goals. I did that and changed my tool.

Now after a few years, I'm a little further along but I don't think this tea spoon is helping matters. In fact, why am I digging a ditch? I don't even like ruts!

So, it has become vital that I reassess goals and tools again. I don't have much time left. It's not that longevity runs in my family; it just ran so far ahead that I can't see it any longer. And, like a chewed up pencil, the next 15 years will vanish in a blink and 'valued employee' will mean nothing.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. Why not use a shovel? Really? Should my ultimate goal be digging my grave?

Do this, no, do that, no, do something else

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I should be tending to several urgent tasks right now. There are those never-ending chores such as keeping the level of dust and dirt inside my house to below ankle level. Just as important is keeping myself free of prison (and available for dust and dirt removal) with timely payments to ever-so-understanding bill collectors.

There are those fast approaching deadlines. Heaven knows that the American economy is headed for certain doom unless I file my tax statements. And, unless I come up with some witty post about www.bestmultivitamin.org, I may lose the chance to make a dollar an hour while writing about other exhilarating topics such as weight loss and skin problems.

Yet, today, for the first time in a long while, I have the opportunity to do things that I've wanted to do but couldn't because of demands and obligations by others. So, if it is all right with you, I'll finish this assignment and then I'll go play… if I remember how.

Quietly Famous

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I picked up one of the several trade magazines that have been accumulating in my mailbox at work. There, in an issue of "Test and Measurement", was an interview I gave to one of the editors back in December. Nice surprise to see my name and words in print. Now all I need is the groupies ... and some cash.

Maybe I celebrated my celebrity status that no one at work or home knows about. Since tomorrow is St. Patrick's day, I could be environmentally friendly and drink green beer. Perhaps added a couple of pickled eggs to the mix.

Well, if I do so that will be the end of my small carbon footprint. At least my emissions will be green ... ish (and so will be those unfortunately souls around me).

Mo' Grandkids, Mo' Grandkids

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First my daughter, then my adapted daughter and now my other adapted daughter. They recently reached the quarter century mark and are all expecting babies in a few months.

I can't blame the water since they are all in different parts of the United States. It has to be Facebook related. The last conversation they all had together involved babies and maternity clothing. It has to be Facebook's fault. I'll bet there's a pregnancy app like Farmville -- Babyville. I keep telling people if you don't opt out, you'll be in trouble!

Be Careful where you *wok* your dog ...

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Courtesy of imgur.com

I'll drink to 'I see now"

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Lately, it has been a tad difficult to see the world about me. Yes, if I'm not wearing my glasses then it seems as though colored blobs and rotund shapes surround me. This happened once years ago, but it turned out that I walked into the middle of a Weight Watchers convention. These recent occurrences of faulty visions are not the same thing.

With my glasses on, I'm suddenly aware of an odd feeling that there is some distortion in my sight. I can't put my finger on this sensation. Or, if I did put my finger on it, I would end up poked myself in the eye. After a few seconds, this uncomfortable feeling turns into a blurriness from either my left or right eye but never both.

The doctor seems to think that I’m having a new reaction to extra stress in my life. Actually, he attributes it more to an aging body dealing with stress that my younger self handled with ease. Apparently, our weak forms are only designed to handle so much soul crushing events before giving way to undesirable side effects.

So, instead of changing my spectacles, my doctor recommends a few daily ounces of alcohol to relax me. My kind of doctor -- prescription glasses in the form of shots. I may still have blurry vision but at least I won't care as much.

Mo' horsepower! Mo' horsepower!

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Last week, we had a customer stop by with his 2011 Dodge Viper, complete with its V-10, 600 horse power engine. Impressive to say the least. Today, NASA released this video of its 44,000,000 horsepower engine lifting Discovery into space. Saying that it is "impressive" is a complete understatement!
Here's the video (for some reason you have to give the link a few minutes to show itself here before you can play it):