A couple of weeks ago, our CFO added more letters to his title and became the company's latest CEO. He spent much of that week endearing himself to employees by issuing bizarre memos, stricter company policies, and demands that we bow low when we approach him.
Of course, I am kidding about the "bow low" demand. That will be issued at the end of the month. However, in an obvious effort to improve employee morale, he has proclaimed an unforgiving dress code.
Have you gone to a convenience store with this warning displayed prominently on their door: "No shoes, no shirt, no service!"? Our beloved CEO issued a similar threat: "No sneakers, no jeans, no T-shirts, or else no job!"
Thank goodness, he implemented this wonderful change. Why, just the other day, as my fellow workmate and I crawled along on dirty floor of the plant, working feverishly to repair an antique piece of greasy machinery, I said, "You know, we really need to start wearing suit and ties for our job." What I said in jest must have been over heard.
But I can understand the reason for this latest edict. Somehow, during new company president's start, we employees - with decades of faithful service to the company and to our customers - turned into children, suddenly forgetting how to dress properly for our workplace. When we had special visitors, such as new customers that we want to impress, we knew to wear spiffier business attire. Yet, somehow, we must have forgotten this a couple of weeks ago.
The obvious solution is simple. Very soon, upper management will announce uniforms for when we have visitors – burqas for everyone. What looks more productive than a plant full of worker bees dressed like masked beekeepers. Besides, you can't have visitors lusting after the hard-working employees. Who knows what better job offers might come of it?
In any case, as a guy, I am a little disappointed with this strict dress code. I guess I can't show up to work in my new miniskirt and high heels. According to the new policy, that would be an obvious drag.
===========================
Update! The natives grumbled loud enough that the CEO has reissued his dress code. "Comfortable" shoes for those who have medical needs. Given that many of the workers on the floor are heavy-set women in their late 50s and early 60s, we applaud the CEO for his generosity.
He will also allow us to wear jeans - as long as the jeans do not have holes in them. This one is confusing. After all, jeans have to have 3 holes so you to put them on your body. But perhaps our CEO wants to make a fashion statement. Perhaps, we must take our hole-less jeans, throw the legs over our shoulders, and loop them around our neck. Just as you would with a fancy sweater if your name was 'Biff' or 'Babs', and you had to slave away enjoying yourself at the country club.
T-shirts are still forbidden unless it has a split at the neck and a couple of buttons along the split. Nothing screams professionalism better than a ripped shirt with sensible buttons.
Burqas are being considered ...
Monday, September 24, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
A Fine Whine On Wine Making
Bacchus is the esteemed Roman god of wine. Backyardachus is where I have my shed and plans to honor Bacchus as I making wine again.
Every man needs a hobby and brewing is one of the more rewarding endeavors. Unless, of course, your hobby becomes an obsession. At that point, you either need to start selling your liquid fruits of labor, or join an AA group.
Some people recommend HomeBrewIt.com for wine making equipment. I'm going for a more natural approach. I''ll gather apples and pear that lay rotting in my backyard. Once collected into a garbage bag, they can ferment further in the darkness of my shed. Later, I'll squeeze the pulpy mess and strain the good stuff into bottles with fancy labels to share with my good friends.
The bad stuff might be recycled. These special brews of decayed fruit and insects make great anonymous gifts at Christmas; especially to those special folks - you know, those who went out of their way throughout the year to make your life more difficult than it should have been.
Of course, by distributing such unwelcomed presents, you can't align yourself with Bacchus, the god of tasty beverages. Perhaps, Mars, the god of war (and now of Curiosity) would be a better standard.
Every man needs a hobby and brewing is one of the more rewarding endeavors. Unless, of course, your hobby becomes an obsession. At that point, you either need to start selling your liquid fruits of labor, or join an AA group.
Some people recommend HomeBrewIt.com for wine making equipment. I'm going for a more natural approach. I''ll gather apples and pear that lay rotting in my backyard. Once collected into a garbage bag, they can ferment further in the darkness of my shed. Later, I'll squeeze the pulpy mess and strain the good stuff into bottles with fancy labels to share with my good friends.
The bad stuff might be recycled. These special brews of decayed fruit and insects make great anonymous gifts at Christmas; especially to those special folks - you know, those who went out of their way throughout the year to make your life more difficult than it should have been.
Of course, by distributing such unwelcomed presents, you can't align yourself with Bacchus, the god of tasty beverages. Perhaps, Mars, the god of war (and now of Curiosity) would be a better standard.
For The Love Of A Leaf.
Why does Springtime have the sole reputation for making us do crazy things, surprisingly, without involving any arm-twisting? What about Autumn: When leaves fall dead to the roadside so they can bloom into colorful election signs. When we have a special night to don masks and become someone else for an evening of celebration. Of course, a few days later, we have another riotous free-for-all, complete with zany characters and unbelievable actions - otherwise known as an election - where we're compelled to pick those who wear their masks constantly.
I have to admit that I've done my share of crazy during Autumn. Though masks weren't involved.
During my pre-teen days, I lived in Gorham, a tiny town in the White Mountains of NH - scenic, peaceful, or as I liked to call it: the tourist trap of the North.
By the end of September, the mountains would explode into panoramic color, causing a migration into Gorham of rich, old ladies from Boston. Herds of them would saunter through the town, pointing and admiring leaves that hung just out of their reach. The hunt was on!
Being a gentleman, I would offer to climb towering trees and pluck an authentic White Mountain Autumn leaf just for them. Being an enterprising gentleman, I offered my services for a dollar - just for them.
I said Autumn makes you do crazy things. On more than one occasion, I risked my life to keep my customers happy by grabbing for a leaf just a post-summer's breeze away from my outstretched finger tips. Crazier still were the old women who tipped me $5 and $10 for a piece of plant already destined for the ground in a few days.
No, we can't restrict silly actions to just one season. If people drive themselves silly to buy dying leaves, then watching them vote for the lesser of two evils makes perfect sense.
I have to admit that I've done my share of crazy during Autumn. Though masks weren't involved.
During my pre-teen days, I lived in Gorham, a tiny town in the White Mountains of NH - scenic, peaceful, or as I liked to call it: the tourist trap of the North.
By the end of September, the mountains would explode into panoramic color, causing a migration into Gorham of rich, old ladies from Boston. Herds of them would saunter through the town, pointing and admiring leaves that hung just out of their reach. The hunt was on!
Being a gentleman, I would offer to climb towering trees and pluck an authentic White Mountain Autumn leaf just for them. Being an enterprising gentleman, I offered my services for a dollar - just for them.
I said Autumn makes you do crazy things. On more than one occasion, I risked my life to keep my customers happy by grabbing for a leaf just a post-summer's breeze away from my outstretched finger tips. Crazier still were the old women who tipped me $5 and $10 for a piece of plant already destined for the ground in a few days.
No, we can't restrict silly actions to just one season. If people drive themselves silly to buy dying leaves, then watching them vote for the lesser of two evils makes perfect sense.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Looking, nah, Listening Into Podcasting
How do you put 3 long, tortuous hours a day (my commute to and from work) to good use? This year, I ended up converting my car into a "Educational Vehicle of Escape" by putting the "Downcast" app on my iPhone.
Radio and TV and Cable have had their influential moments in the sun. These days, the latest media of persuasion, entertainment, and learning has become podcasts.
So far these past 9 months, I've traveled with Adam Carolla, Kevin Pollack, Larry Miller, and Penn Jillet as they put their comedic interviews online.
I'm learning the craft of writing from "I Should Be Writing" and "The Writing Show". And, thanks to the discussion groups broadcasted by "Nerdist Writers Panel", I have an intriguing insider's look on how famous writers create those successful movies and TV shows.
The only downside is that I now need more time to spend listening to these and many more podcasts.
Of course, you have to wonder: How expensive is it to have a show on the Internet? Is anyone making money?
According various remarks made different people during their podcasts, their programs are very profitable. In fact, a little research shows that you and I could make our own engaging episodes. All we need is a mixer board, some mics, perhaps a web cam, and software. In fact, with a $150 plug-and-play system such asavid pro tools and some Internet bandwidth, we could be in business today. Then, with a little self-promotion and a lot of attention-grabbing shows, we can attract a big enough audience to have sponsors lavish our efforts with lots of money. See how easy that was!
So my "Educational Vehicle of Escape" has been quite an educational experience. As soon as I get a moment, I'll put my knowledge into action and retire soon after. Hopefully before I hit 70.
Radio and TV and Cable have had their influential moments in the sun. These days, the latest media of persuasion, entertainment, and learning has become podcasts.
So far these past 9 months, I've traveled with Adam Carolla, Kevin Pollack, Larry Miller, and Penn Jillet as they put their comedic interviews online.
I'm learning the craft of writing from "I Should Be Writing" and "The Writing Show". And, thanks to the discussion groups broadcasted by "Nerdist Writers Panel", I have an intriguing insider's look on how famous writers create those successful movies and TV shows.
The only downside is that I now need more time to spend listening to these and many more podcasts.
Of course, you have to wonder: How expensive is it to have a show on the Internet? Is anyone making money?
According various remarks made different people during their podcasts, their programs are very profitable. In fact, a little research shows that you and I could make our own engaging episodes. All we need is a mixer board, some mics, perhaps a web cam, and software. In fact, with a $150 plug-and-play system such asavid pro tools and some Internet bandwidth, we could be in business today. Then, with a little self-promotion and a lot of attention-grabbing shows, we can attract a big enough audience to have sponsors lavish our efforts with lots of money. See how easy that was!
So my "Educational Vehicle of Escape" has been quite an educational experience. As soon as I get a moment, I'll put my knowledge into action and retire soon after. Hopefully before I hit 70.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
OH, now you tell me.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Yeah, that'll teach me to date someone with bipolar disorder.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Twitter to the Rescue ... I Hope.
My company has installed Wireless Internet in the office area. In fact, right this moment, I'm using it to compose a tweet to rescue me from the bathroom stall:
I'm sure I can get this tweet down to 140 characters. I've got the time. It's not like I'm going anywhere soon. I can sit and reflect on the millions we made the big boys so far. I wonder if they splurged and got us single ply ...
"Here I sit, so broken-hearted.
Come to [insert family-friendly related word] and only ...
... discovered we're out of toilet paper. Again!
(No time to rhyme.
And, apparently, no time to hire competent janitorial help.)
Instead of screaming 'til I'm rescued,
I'll send a tweet in this unpleasant interlude,
'Cause big brother is watching our Internet packets,
in case we play with non-work related tactics.
My bum is numb,
so please interfere on the double,
I ask only for relief
and absolutely no trouble!
So ... HELP!"
I'm sure I can get this tweet down to 140 characters. I've got the time. It's not like I'm going anywhere soon. I can sit and reflect on the millions we made the big boys so far. I wonder if they splurged and got us single ply ...
If Only My Life Is A Beach
A refreshing salty breeze coming off of the ocean, rhythmic crescendos of the wet waves, warm sand between my toes, and - most important of all - no one else around me on the beach! That's one of the perks of taking vacation at the beach in September. After the Labor-day crowds have returned to their stressful work life, North Carolina shores became a paradise.
But paradise is going to have to wait yet another year. I had hoped to enjoy a long over-due act of selfish relaxation this month. By now, I had planned to call one of a Holden Beach NC real estate offices to reserve a ocean-front escape. But noooooo!
Have you ever had faced tough, unpleasant choices? A few months ago, I had to decide who needed my time more: myself or my friends and family. I had to pick what needed my money more: my sanity or my loved ones livelihood. I had to choose between a few days of self-indulgence or several months of handling unexpected needs of others. It's as though Life has kicked sand in my face and laughed horribly about it.
I can't do everything. Even though I try. Something has to give. So this year, the closest way to get to the beach will be through this crabby post. Sorry about that.
Maybe I'll won't vacuum the house for a week so the dirt and sand from outside can build up. With the cat knocking out some of the litter from its box, I should have a crunchy, almost-beach texture on the floor. Then, I can boil a kettle full of salt water to humidify my small house. Once I kick off my shoes, I can simulate an ocean breeze by racing bare-footed around the cat box. Heck, I might even take my clothes off and pretend to be on the French Riviera.
Of course, there is always the hope of next September.
But paradise is going to have to wait yet another year. I had hoped to enjoy a long over-due act of selfish relaxation this month. By now, I had planned to call one of a Holden Beach NC real estate offices to reserve a ocean-front escape. But noooooo!
Have you ever had faced tough, unpleasant choices? A few months ago, I had to decide who needed my time more: myself or my friends and family. I had to pick what needed my money more: my sanity or my loved ones livelihood. I had to choose between a few days of self-indulgence or several months of handling unexpected needs of others. It's as though Life has kicked sand in my face and laughed horribly about it.
I can't do everything. Even though I try. Something has to give. So this year, the closest way to get to the beach will be through this crabby post. Sorry about that.
Maybe I'll won't vacuum the house for a week so the dirt and sand from outside can build up. With the cat knocking out some of the litter from its box, I should have a crunchy, almost-beach texture on the floor. Then, I can boil a kettle full of salt water to humidify my small house. Once I kick off my shoes, I can simulate an ocean breeze by racing bare-footed around the cat box. Heck, I might even take my clothes off and pretend to be on the French Riviera.
Of course, there is always the hope of next September.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
The Future: A One-wheel Motorcycle.
Of course, never mind the unintentional wheelies. I wonder how many people will put a basket on the handle bar and give other people rides?
Of Shining Pearls and Fast Metal
I began this week by studying vehicle-to-vehicle communication: a new technology where cars and trucks talk to each other. ("V2V" for you folks with an affinity for acronyms, or as I like to call you: "FWAFA".) With these chatty vehicles sharing information, accidents and traffic jams should disappear from the road ways. Of course, this also means your car will snitch on you. "Pssst. Herby is going 2 miles an hour over the speed limit. Pass it on. Yeah, I tried to tell him, but he's not listening to me. So pass it on to highway patrol."
So I plunged down the rabbit hole of Internet links. Researching V2V turned into looking up vehicle electronics. This became motorcycle cruise controls, then historical motorcycles, followed by historic motorcycle racing.
Finally, I arrived at the web doorstep of an award-winning Louisianan racer - Barbara Conner. And no ordinary racer is she! Here is an x-ray technician who revs motorcycles and cars into trophies, raises 6 children, and has a popular Barbara Conner jewelry line loved by several film and music stars.
Not only does she race motorcycles and design pearl jewelry, but she does this in the right order. You wouldn't believe how many people try to be successful by racing pearls, or wearing white motorcycles after labor day.
My research started with vehicle-to-vehicle communications. I ended up learning about one incredible person who communicates her desires into a mastery of vehicles, a mastery of family life, and a mastery of the market place.
Now I just have to figure out how move my potential for great things into actual success. I wonder if anyone has thought of marketing clam-covered motorbikes. If no one has shared this idea, is it because they're shellfish?
So I plunged down the rabbit hole of Internet links. Researching V2V turned into looking up vehicle electronics. This became motorcycle cruise controls, then historical motorcycles, followed by historic motorcycle racing.
Finally, I arrived at the web doorstep of an award-winning Louisianan racer - Barbara Conner. And no ordinary racer is she! Here is an x-ray technician who revs motorcycles and cars into trophies, raises 6 children, and has a popular Barbara Conner jewelry line loved by several film and music stars.
Not only does she race motorcycles and design pearl jewelry, but she does this in the right order. You wouldn't believe how many people try to be successful by racing pearls, or wearing white motorcycles after labor day.
My research started with vehicle-to-vehicle communications. I ended up learning about one incredible person who communicates her desires into a mastery of vehicles, a mastery of family life, and a mastery of the market place.
Now I just have to figure out how move my potential for great things into actual success. I wonder if anyone has thought of marketing clam-covered motorbikes. If no one has shared this idea, is it because they're shellfish?
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Big Brother and the Political Conventions.
When I looked at the TV Guide tonight, I saw "Big Brother" on CBS and Democratic National Convention on the CBS side channel - one show about sneaky people sabotaging the welfare of those around them, and other being a reality show.
Now, don't get your political panties in a twist. It's just a repeat of last week when "Big Brother" broadcasted along with the Republican National Convention. I know, "Big Brother" verses "Bigger Brother" - redundant programming at its best.
Either week, what do you expect? You encourage them when you vote. With your checks and your check marks, you encourage them.
Now, don't get your political panties in a twist. It's just a repeat of last week when "Big Brother" broadcasted along with the Republican National Convention. I know, "Big Brother" verses "Bigger Brother" - redundant programming at its best.
Either week, what do you expect? You encourage them when you vote. With your checks and your check marks, you encourage them.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Which do you pick: your heart or your greed.
This time last year, my company replaced its president. We went from a man with the deposition of sweat-shop owner to a man who cared about the workers. A shocking first for us peons. This new CEO actually fought for our benefits and moral-boosters. And, as of yesterday, even though we still had not had a pay-raise in four years, our future looked hopefully and rewarding.
Things looked so well that one of the board of directors made a surprise visit to the plant yesterday. Without any word of warning, he summoned all of us into the cafeteria for a meeting. Of course, he called this employee-gathering during the lunch break so, conveniently, most people were already off the clock. (Smart thinking, that board-of-director guy.)
With a big, warm smile, he told us how great business was: how they (the investors) had secured cheaper financing, how our sales dollars had been much higher this year than expected, how our sacrifices had cut operating costs. He ended the meeting by thanking us for our hard work, and by telling us that our Chief Financial Office had become the new company president. (Again, smart thinking, that board-of-director guy - paying for two jobs with the price of one salary.)
So, the company was doing well: cheaper loan payments, lower operating costs, higher sales, and a reduced expense with upper management. His final words to the company's 80 hard-working, pay-raise starved members was, "Thank you and good-bye."
Our former president was a great man - easy to talk with, sympathetic to the hardships we endured to make the company profitable. After yesterday's little speech, we're reasonably sure of a mutual parting of the ways resulting from conflicts of characters - generosity and fellowship of our favorite CEO verses greed of our glorious overlords.
I don't think our overlords, I mean, our investors realize that their business has survived, not only in spite of the downturn in the economy, but because of a downturn in the economy that prevented better companies from hiring us all away.
Of course, that downturn has begun to swing upwards. As of today, even McDonald's looks like a financial walk-in-the-park for several of us ...
Things looked so well that one of the board of directors made a surprise visit to the plant yesterday. Without any word of warning, he summoned all of us into the cafeteria for a meeting. Of course, he called this employee-gathering during the lunch break so, conveniently, most people were already off the clock. (Smart thinking, that board-of-director guy.)
With a big, warm smile, he told us how great business was: how they (the investors) had secured cheaper financing, how our sales dollars had been much higher this year than expected, how our sacrifices had cut operating costs. He ended the meeting by thanking us for our hard work, and by telling us that our Chief Financial Office had become the new company president. (Again, smart thinking, that board-of-director guy - paying for two jobs with the price of one salary.)
So, the company was doing well: cheaper loan payments, lower operating costs, higher sales, and a reduced expense with upper management. His final words to the company's 80 hard-working, pay-raise starved members was, "Thank you and good-bye."
Our former president was a great man - easy to talk with, sympathetic to the hardships we endured to make the company profitable. After yesterday's little speech, we're reasonably sure of a mutual parting of the ways resulting from conflicts of characters - generosity and fellowship of our favorite CEO verses greed of our glorious overlords.
I don't think our overlords, I mean, our investors realize that their business has survived, not only in spite of the downturn in the economy, but because of a downturn in the economy that prevented better companies from hiring us all away.
Of course, that downturn has begun to swing upwards. As of today, even McDonald's looks like a financial walk-in-the-park for several of us ...
Friday, August 24, 2012
How To Feel A Mental Burn
Do you know why we spell 'love' with a silent 'e'? Because English words don't end in 'v'. Someone long ago started adding that non-nonchalant 'e' and the practice took hold. Centuries later, we don't give 'love' verses 'lov' a second thought. Sometimes, even not even love ... but that's another matter for romance novels and country songs.
You can doubt my tale. But remember that only a few years ago we had 'electronic mail'. Then we had 'e-mail'. Now, we banter across the Internet with our superior 'email'. Ah, the magic of the '100th monkey' effect.
Yesterday, my post assignment had the phrase "3d jigsaw puzzles to exercize your brain". After my first read of these keywords, my brain pulled a ham-string when it hit 'exercize' while anticipating 'exercise'. I wasn't expecting my mental working-out to hurt so much. Fortunately, after alerting my clients about the troublesome word, they corrected it to read: 3d jigsaw puzzles to exercise your brain. (The link takes you to a site that sells challenging 3-D puzzles, phonetic words not included.)
Yet, this is how words change. While we get inundated with a 'z' instead of an 's', we skip merrily down the road, and happily accepting "your" for "you're". All because of brains that rapidly adapt to survive the most ridiculous situations. With enough repeated onslaughts and social acceptance, even "there" becomes the norm for "their" and "they're". OMG!
Don't worry. School just started. That block quote will be on your kids' homework. Good luk! (or luc, depending upon the teacher.) I recommend some 3D puzzle while the pieces still fit together in a logical manner.
You can doubt my tale. But remember that only a few years ago we had 'electronic mail'. Then we had 'e-mail'. Now, we banter across the Internet with our superior 'email'. Ah, the magic of the '100th monkey' effect.
Yesterday, my post assignment had the phrase "3d jigsaw puzzles to exercize your brain". After my first read of these keywords, my brain pulled a ham-string when it hit 'exercize' while anticipating 'exercise'. I wasn't expecting my mental working-out to hurt so much. Fortunately, after alerting my clients about the troublesome word, they corrected it to read: 3d jigsaw puzzles to exercise your brain. (The link takes you to a site that sells challenging 3-D puzzles, phonetic words not included.)
Yet, this is how words change. While we get inundated with a 'z' instead of an 's', we skip merrily down the road, and happily accepting "your" for "you're". All because of brains that rapidly adapt to survive the most ridiculous situations. With enough repeated onslaughts and social acceptance, even "there" becomes the norm for "their" and "they're". OMG!
"i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt."
Don't worry. School just started. That block quote will be on your kids' homework. Good luk! (or luc, depending upon the teacher.) I recommend some 3D puzzle while the pieces still fit together in a logical manner.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Planning for the future.
I have several posts waiting in the wing - some humorous, a few poignant, most embarrassing attempts at writing. But I can't publish them. Not yet.
I'm about to take a writing class at the local community college. So, I'm going to need material for my homework assignments. Sorry.
And then I have to consider how some future posts will fulfill obligations to the content mill that still helps with my bills. Hopefully, we won't have to put up with that low paying silliness much longer.
I'm about to take a writing class at the local community college. So, I'm going to need material for my homework assignments. Sorry.
And then I have to consider how some future posts will fulfill obligations to the content mill that still helps with my bills. Hopefully, we won't have to put up with that low paying silliness much longer.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
My 1st Step into Publishing.
I finally did it. I swallowed my pride, ignored my fear of looking like an idiot, overcame a debilitating desire to remain unknown. Then, I submitted my first article to Yahoo!'s contributor network. Today, they published it:
http://voices.yahoo.com/finding-comfort-food-spring-lake-nc-11645526.html?cat=8
The piece isn't much, embarrassingly so. Just a fond review of a good restaurant that these hard times may soon put out of business. But this article means a small victory over my fears and my procrastination. It is also an important step to one of my 2012 New Year's resolution - you know those grandiose goals we make on January 1st, only to give up on by January 2nd. I had resolved to learn the craft of writing and to make the results profitable.
While I am nowhere close to claiming that seductive title of success, at least I've finally taken that first step in that direction. Hopefully, I won't slide away and end up in the ditch of life's well-intentioned failures ...
http://voices.yahoo.com/finding-comfort-food-spring-lake-nc-11645526.html?cat=8
The piece isn't much, embarrassingly so. Just a fond review of a good restaurant that these hard times may soon put out of business. But this article means a small victory over my fears and my procrastination. It is also an important step to one of my 2012 New Year's resolution - you know those grandiose goals we make on January 1st, only to give up on by January 2nd. I had resolved to learn the craft of writing and to make the results profitable.
While I am nowhere close to claiming that seductive title of success, at least I've finally taken that first step in that direction. Hopefully, I won't slide away and end up in the ditch of life's well-intentioned failures ...
Sunday, August 12, 2012
haters and 8'ers.
At first, upper management of Microsoft demanded that their employees stop referring to their latest operating system as "Metro". Instead, those that want to keep their jobs were to use the name "Windows 8".
Now, the big bosses want the phrase "Modern UI Style" to grace the lips of computer users everywhere.
But already the lines have been drawn; the battle has begun. The "Windows 8" loyalists have resorted to name-calling and talking down to anyone who uses anything but the name "Windows 8".
What do you expect? 8'ers are always goin' to be 8'ing.
Now, the big bosses want the phrase "Modern UI Style" to grace the lips of computer users everywhere.
But already the lines have been drawn; the battle has begun. The "Windows 8" loyalists have resorted to name-calling and talking down to anyone who uses anything but the name "Windows 8".
What do you expect? 8'ers are always goin' to be 8'ing.
Thursday, August 09, 2012
The morals issues I have to deal with.
Ok, I'm in a bit of a moral dilemma. So I ask you, my friends, what is worse: Doing donuts in the parking lot of a Krispy Kreme, or doing bagels in the parking lot of a synagogue?
Why does such a humble man have to wrestle with such philosophical battles?
Why does such a humble man have to wrestle with such philosophical battles?
Monday, August 06, 2012
Going for Gold.
As of this moment, China has 61 medals and the United States has ... 61 medals! Not bad.
Of course, China's best athletes came from a crop of 1400 million people. United States pickings were out of a measly 300 million citizens. I think we can safely say that the US can brag based on statistics alone.
Yes, a silly argument. Sillier still is that, somewhere in the world, a lazy spectator sits on a couch, face full of food, watching the action. When a highly trained athlete only gets 4th place, our lard-butt has the audacity to call the Olympian "a loser".
Of course, China's best athletes came from a crop of 1400 million people. United States pickings were out of a measly 300 million citizens. I think we can safely say that the US can brag based on statistics alone.
Yes, a silly argument. Sillier still is that, somewhere in the world, a lazy spectator sits on a couch, face full of food, watching the action. When a highly trained athlete only gets 4th place, our lard-butt has the audacity to call the Olympian "a loser".
Sunday, August 05, 2012
Word To Your Bad Self
It was a muggy, sunny Sunday. Across the street, my neighbor loaded up the surf board rack on their car and headed out for the beach. The neighbor to my right stuffed their car's luggage rack full of suitcases and drove away for a vacation.
My neighbor to my left, well, he's a little different. He was providing the music at a wedding that day. So he stacked all of his sound equipment in his little Toyota. To transport his brother who is the DJ, he used the DJ Racks mounted on his car's roof.
In an odd way, this is smart thinking. You certainly don't want to lash your DJ directly to the car - that would scra-scra-scratch the paint. Definitely, a wic-a-wic-ked good idea.
My neighbor to my left, well, he's a little different. He was providing the music at a wedding that day. So he stacked all of his sound equipment in his little Toyota. To transport his brother who is the DJ, he used the DJ Racks mounted on his car's roof.
In an odd way, this is smart thinking. You certainly don't want to lash your DJ directly to the car - that would scra-scra-scratch the paint. Definitely, a wic-a-wic-ked good idea.
Saturday, August 04, 2012
It's all in the words.
According to OMG facts, a group of ravens is called an unkindness. A group of ferrets is called a business.
That would explain why a session of Congress is called a meeting of ravenous ferrets.
That would explain why a session of Congress is called a meeting of ravenous ferrets.
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Seems Like Only Yesterday.
I'm not that old. Yes, instead of twitter and blogging, we had to sit around and talk face-to-face, searching for those elusive answers to life. Yet, even then, it was hard to ignore the Google ads on our foreheads.
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